


A Chain Of Events

by blahblahblah17



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-07 03:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blahblahblah17/pseuds/blahblahblah17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had the worst 26th birthday he could possibly have, but if it hadn't happened, he would never have met Arthur. How will he deal with losing a loved one and his feelings for Arthur, and how quickly will what they have fall to pieces? Will true love eventually prevail and will they realise that they are destined to be together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin had never been so scared in his life.

The call that your best friend had been involved in a car accident and was being taken to hospital for surgery was not one that you ever hoped you'd get, especially on the night of your 26th birthday party when you knew that said best friend had been travelling to see you.

Merlin was not scared, he was petrified.

To make matters worse, the call had come from Will's phone, and Merlin had picked up and directed insults and profanities down the phone before hearing the voice of the female paramedic come from the other end.

Merlin had been very drunk, but nothing, he thought, had ever made him sober up so quickly.

He scoured the room for someone he knew would not have been drinking and spotted Lance talking to Gwaine in a corner of the living room. Talking was perhaps a loose term for it. From Merlin's position, it looked like Lance was trying to resist Gwaine's advances, Gwaine having forgotten that they were both heterosexual males, and both in heterosexual relationships. He pushed his way through the crowd of people obstructing his path to Lance and threw himself in front of Gwaine with what was probably more force than necessary.

"Merlin," The amused grin that had previously been plastered across Lance's face disappeared. "What's happened?"

Merlin could barely find his voice, still not quite believing what he had been told. "Will. Car accident. Hospital." He choked out.

"Let's go," Lance said, grabbing Merlin's arm and pulling him along behind him making a beeline for the coat cupboard. Merlin had always admired Lance for being the headstrong leader that he was, and appreciated it in that moment more than he had in any other. He was not the type to collapse in on himself when put in a difficult situation, which was exactly what Merlin was doing right now.

"Gwen," Merlin mumbled, knowing in the back of his mind that he should tell her what had happened, and should not let Lance leave without letting her know. Lance had reached the coats and was shoving Merlin's old leather jacket into his arms. "Find some shoes, I'll go and tell her what's happened. Do you want everyone to leave?"

"No, not yet, don't panic them, just tell Gwen to make sure everyone's gone by the time I get back," Merlin had forgotten that he had been walking around in the comical socks he had received from Gwaine a few hours earlier and stumbled up the stairs into his bedroom to search for some footwear. The first pair he came across was his worn pair of navy Vans which had been a gift from Will many years ago. He pulled them on, his head full of images he did not want to be seeing. Will unconscious. Will paralysed. Will dead.

"Merlin," He heard Lance shout from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly grabbed another hoody to put on under his jacket and bolted back down the stairs. "Let's go."

•••

Merlin had known Will since they were four years old. They had met on their first day of primary school and had formed a lasting bond after Will had pushed Merlin into the sand pit. They had been inseparable ever since.

They had been a constant in each other's lives, always being there to help the other through the next obstacle life threw at them: Will's father leaving when they were 6, Merlin's sexuality crisis when they were 14, Merlin's mother falling ill just before they'd been set to leave Ealdor to go to university.

Nothing could have ever prepared him for this turn of events. After they had graduated, Merlin had moved south to London with Lance and Gwen, who he had met in Leeds and had lived with alongside Will for two years. Will had stayed.

It had been hard for them to adjust to not seeing each other every day and not living together, but they both knew it had been for the best, otherwise there was no way either one of them would comply. Will had been offered an amazing job with an accounting firm in Leeds and could hardly afford to turn it down. Everyone had been shocked, but everyone grew to accept it, as well as the prospect of Merlin's name no longer being attached to the end of Will's.

At first Merlin had tried to bury himself in his own work to keep his mind off missing Will but soon his friends began to notice that Merlin's slight frame was getting thinner and the bags that had become a permanent fixture underneath his eyes.

They had forced him to leave the house, and for that he was actually grateful. Lance and Gwen often speculated about what would have happened if they had not intervened, and they agreed it would not have been pretty.

At first, the three had lived together in a flat that was too small for them but which was easy for them to pay the rent on. It had been a two bedroom affair on the outskirts of the city, miles away from anything that was of any use to them. As they began to earn more money they soon realized that where they were living was not practical for any of them. So they moved further into the city, the new flat similar to the last but bigger and in a better location.

By this time, their circle of friends had grown, and Merlin was spending a lot of time with Gwaine, who worked in the building across from his. Gwaine was a self professed womaniser, who was also partial to a male's company every now and again. He and Merlin had dabbled and things had looked to have been going well for the pair, both taking their 'relationship' more seriously than they had originally intended, until Gwaine had met Sophie and he realised that Merlin didn't quite do it for him. He hadn't minded, he knew what they had had was not supposed to be permanent, only a release for their pent up sexual frustrations, drinks and sex, but they had eventually fallen into a comfortable pattern and were not afraid to act more like they were in a relationship. This allowed them to stay friends and form a bond that almost matched the one he had had with Will for his entire life.

Gwaine had not lasted long with Sophie. Although he was besotted, she was younger, less mature and soon realised that Gwaine wanted more from her than she was willing to give.

Up until this point, Merlin had been accepting of Gwen and Lance's need to have sex, loudly, almost every day, but he was reaching the end of his tether, so when his Uncle Gauis had offered him his old house in the city centre which he would have no use for when he went to Africa, he jumped at the chance to move away from the love birds. Gwaine had moved in with him shortly after Merlin had acquired the deeds to the house.

Throughout his time in London, Merlin had had a small number of relationships, all failing once the new partner had decided that Merlin was having a secret affair with Gwaine. Even after Gwaine began seeing Elena, the pattern continued and Merlin remained a sad, lonely 20-something with a huge craving for sex. Lots of sex.

•••

Merlin jumped out of Lance's car as soon as they passed the hospital entrance. It was busy and Lance was going to have trouble parking, and Merlin needed to see Will.

The nurses were infuriatingly unhelpful.

"We can't tell you anything, you aren't family."

So Merlin wandered the floors until he found the room that had William Grayson written next to it on the wall.

The room was empty.

Merlin sat outside and waited. And waited.

Lance turned up eventually and sat with him for a while, holding Merlin while he let out the tears he had been holding back since he got the call, but Gwen called and Lance reluctantly left Merlin on his own, promising he would back in the morning.

Will was wheeled back to his room at around midnight. Gwen's brother, Elyan, was on duty now and he took pity on Merlin and told him what he could.

Will was badly injured. A petrol tanker had crashed into Will's small car on the motorway and the doctors were still shocked that Will had made it out alive.

That didn't mean he was definitely going to be alright. He had a number of broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a broken arm, a broken leg, internal bleeding and possible brain damage. It was bad. If he made it through the night, he was likely to be ok. Will was a fighter, but Merlin didn't know if he would be able to fight this.

Knowing there was nothing he could do, Merlin made his way to the canteen in search of some food. He had left the party less than 3 hours ago, and had been drinking on an empty stomach. He was hungry and was beginning to feel a hangover developing.

The canteen was virtually empty. He picked up a sandwich and a bottle of water from the fridge and got to the counter before realising he didn't have his wallet. He couldn't help patting his pockets, hoping he would discover some change. He didn't.

A tall, blonde figure had appeared being him in the queue, waiting to purchase 2 bottles of diet coke. Merlin motioned for him to jump in front of him and began to retreat to put the sandwich he was so looking forward to back.

"Hey," called a voice from behind him. He turned round to see the blond waving him back. "I'll get those, if you don't have any money,"

"You don't have to do that, its fine," he replied, turning back around.

"Seriously, you look like you need something to eat. You left your wallet at home because it was an emergency, right?"

"Yeah, I didn't even think about picking anything up, I barely even remembered my shoes," he had subconsciously moved forward to the counter again. "Sorry, you didn't need to know that,"

"Don't worry about it, here," the blonde handed Merlin his food and water, staring sceptically at the water. "I barely know anyone who actually buys water to drink," They walked towards one of the many empty table and sitting down opposite each other.

"I'm erm, well I wasn't drinking fruit juice earlier tonight," Merlin replied, not wanting to admit that he was hung over.

"Ah, that why you're in here then? Party accident?"

"Not exactly," The blonde looked ashamed that he had jumped to this conclusion and picked up one of the bottles of coke to take a sip.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be intruding; it's none of my business,"

Merlin couldn't help himself when he began to tell the story of what had happened. The blonde listened intently and let Merlin tell him a lot more than he needed to know, again. When Merlin looked up, he felt tears in his eyes and the blonde reached into his back pocket and pulled out a rumpled tissue, handing it to Merlin. "Thanks. For listening and for the tissue. Whenever I try to talk to anyone I actually know about Will I feel bad for boring them, at least I know it's not a story you've ever heard before, or are likely to hear again for that matter," The blonde laughed and for the first time Merlin really looked at him.

He was beautiful.

He sported dark circles under his eyes, similar to the ones he was sure he probably had, had a golden head of hair that came down to around his ears. Said hair was ruffled as though its owner had spent all evening running his hands through it. His piercing blue eyes showed the signs of sleepless nights but Merlin was fixated most of all by his cheekbones. This delectable stranger had the most perfect cheekbones. In fact, his jaw line showed that the blonde had perfect bone structure overall.

Merlin had been staring. And so had the blonde.

They both snapped back to reality, both a little embarrassed but seemingly too tired and worried to care.

"So why are you here?" Merlin asked before he could tell himself not to be rude and that it was none of his business, but the blonde replied without hesitation.

"My father had a heart attack," he said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, is he going to be alright?" Merlin inquired.

"They say he should be. We don't really have the best relationship, he doesn't approve of my career, but this has made me see that I wouldn't want to lose him whilst we're on the terms we're on. Plus, I don't want him to wake up to my sister and not me and for him to think I don't care, so I thought I should stay,"

"What do you do?" Merlin silently reprimanded himself for being too nosey.

"I'm a dancer, but my father expected me to follow his footsteps into the family business. He's a psychologist, or he was before he retired,"

"That doesn't sound like too bad a job; at least he wasn't pushing you into medicine or anything,"

"When you put it like that it doesn't sound that awful. I just don't like to be told how I'm feeling, so I couldn't be the one doing it to someone else. Besides, dance is my passion, it always has been, and I'm following in one of my parents footsteps," the blonde looked down into his bottle; he looked pensive, as though he didn't want to talk about it. Merlin couldn't stop himself.

"Your mother is a dancer?"

"She was. She died when I was young,"

"Shit – I – I'm so sorry," Merlin searched the blonde's eyes for a sign that he was angry or offended, but found none.

"Don't be. Through the dance, I feel as though I never really lost her," the blonde was staring back into Merlin's eyes, showing his that he didn't mind Merlin's intrusiveness. "I always danced when I was young, classes, shows, that kind of thing, but my father never expected me to want to carry it on. He thought I'd get embarrassed by the time I was old enough to know how to be, but I guess I never did," Merlin was impressed. He had always admired men who were passionate about what they did, and the stranger was certainly that.

Merlin was staring again.

"Look, I really should be getting back. My sister will be wondering where her drink is," Merlin had freaked him out. Too much staring. Shit.

"Of course, sorry, I didn't mean to keep you from your father,"

"Oh don't be, I'm grateful to get away from it for a bit really." The blonde stood up and brushed his hands off on his jeans. "I'm Arthur, by the way," he held his hand out and Merlin shook it. "Let me know how your friend is in the morning, I'm sure we'll both still be here," Arthur told him the room his father was in.

"Thanks for giving me someone to talk to," Merlin said before he turned to walk out of the canteen.

"Hey," Arthur called after him. "Do you expect me to call you tall, dark and handsome or do I get an actual name?" Merlin felt the tips of his ears redden.

"I prefer that to my actual name," Merlin, why are you flirting, he thought. "But my name's Merlin," Arthur smiled to himself as he walked away. Merlin.

•••

Will did not make it through the night.

He didn't even make it through the time that Merlin had taken to eat his sandwich in the company of his new crush.

Merlin felt terrible.

He couldn't stay outside the room and found himself wandering once more. He finally came to a stop outside the toilets where he sank to the floor, pulled his knees up to his chest and cried.

"Merlin?" A female voice called his name from down the corridor. He looked up to see Morgana, Gwaine's friend Leon's girlfriend. Merlin had only met her a handful of times but she was distinctive enough in looks for Merlin to know that it was her. She paused in front of him before sitting on the floor next to him and pulling her into him. He didn't want to cry on her, he really didn't, but he could not control the broken sobs that wracked through his body. Morgana soothed him and stroked his hair until he quietened and pulled away in embarrassment.

"What happened?" she asked gently, offering Merlin a tissue which he took from her gratefully.

"My birthday party. Best friend. Car accident. Didn't make it." He hiccupped his way through the disjointed sentences before starting to sob once more. Morgana put up with him and pulled him to his feet when he was ready.

"Come with me. I'll ring Leon to come and pick you up and he can take you home,"

"You don't need to do that. Its past midnight, you don't need to wake Leon up, if you could just call me a cab I'll be fine,"

"To be honest, I'd rather not just stick you in a taxi in this state; I'd rather know you're getting home safely. Leon won't mind, and he's already up because I was on the phone to him just before," Merlin found himself wondering what Morgana was doing in the hospital at this time of night, but couldn't find the energy to ask. He mumbled his thanks and let Morgana put an arm around his waist to help keep him up whilst they walked to wherever Morgana was taking him.

They finally reached what looked to be a private room with the curtains drawn on the inside and the door firmly closed. Morgana pushed it open as quietly as she could and let Merlin in before turning back down the corridor to find a payphone to call Leon from.

"Merlin?" Merlin found himself face to face with Arthur. Without the energy to deal with this, or to keep himself on his feet, he felt his legs give way underneath him. Arthur moved quickly and managed to catch him before his head hit the floor.

Arthur hauled Merlin's body up and placed him in the seat Arthur had just vacated. The seats in the private rooms were much nicer than the ones in the bog standard rooms, he found himself thinking, before his eyelids closed over his eyes and he blacked out.

•••

Morgana returned to the room a few moments later to see Merlin passed out in a plush chair and Arthur sat across the room on the floor against the wall.

"His friend was in an accident," Arthur said at the same time as Morgana said, "His friend died," they both gave each other puzzled looks as if to say, how do you know that. Arthur clearly hadn't seen Morgana let Merlin into the room and had thought he had come back to talk some more.

"He's a friend of Leon's; I've met him a few times before and just found him outside the toilets crying." Morgana explained. "How do you know him?"

"I paid for his food in the canteen when I went to get the drinks and we talked a bit. His friend was still alive then. I told him where I was in case he needed to talk more and when he came in I thought that's what he wanted to do. But he saw me and passed out."

"I just rang Leon, he's coming to pick him up and take him home so he doesn't have to stay here, he should only be 20 minutes,"

Merlin was conscious for the entire exchange but chose to keep his eyes closed. His head was pounding and though Arthur and Morgana were barely talking above a whisper, the noise of their voices rang through his head. He was confused for a moment before he remembered, and slipped back into unconsciousness.

•••

Leon entered the room quietly and took in the scene in the room. He nodded his greetings to Arthur and wrapped his arms around Morgana from behind the chair she was seated in and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "How is he?" he asked, indicating that he was asking about Uther.

"He'll be fine, I'm more worried about Merlin now," Morgana replied, getting up from her chair to bury herself in Leon's arms. He held her and placed his lips to the top of her head.

"Is Merlin asleep?" He asked.

"Something like that," Arthur replied, his voice rough. He stood up, wincing at the pain in his legs, and silently crossed the room to place a hand on Merlin's shoulder. He shook it to see if he would wake up and when he didn't he turned to the others. "Should we ask someone to come check on him, see if he's alright?" Morgana contemplated it but before she could talk Merlin stirred and opened his eyes a little. "I guess not," Arthur mumbled.

Merlin wondered what they had been talking about before he came to but once again, could not find the energy to enquire.

Leon untangled himself from Morgana's limbs and bent down in front of Merlin. "Merlin, I'm really sorry about Will." They had met briefly when Will had been visiting once and Leon had come to the house to pick Gwaine up to take him to their weekly football match. Merlin had no doubts that Lance had filled him in on the details of their tricky relationship at some other point. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and was once again being offered a tissue, this time from Leon. "I'll take you home, if you want,"

Merlin could only find it in him to nod and tried to stand up. He collapsed forward onto Leon, who scooped him up with ease. Merlin was out again by the time Leon was stood up. He leant across to kiss Morgana quickly and then followed Arthur out of the room, who had volunteered to open doors, seeing as Leon had his hands full.

"Have you got him?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah I've got him, look at him, you didn't think he'd be very heavy did you?"

"No, I suppose not,"

"Look, I'm going to stay with him tonight, he has a spare room and I can just crash there. It's just that, his housemate is possibly the least compassionate person in the world and I doubt Merlin will want to deal with that when he wakes up, will you tell Morgana for me?"

"Yeah of course, I think I'll go back to hers as well, if we leave here that is. Ring us in the morning and let us know how he is?" Arthur asked.

"Sure." Leon motioned towards his back pocket. "Could you get the key?" Arthur retrieved the key and unlocked the door to Leon's car. He then helped Leon fasten Merlin into the passenger seat after deciding it would be too difficult to get him secured across the back seats. Merlin was awake enough to remember the lingering hand across his cheek before Arthur retreated and closed the door as quietly as he could.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin did not want to wake up. He also did not want to stay asleep. The alarm clock beside his bed told him that it 5:30am on a Saturday morning. He remembered Leon carrying him into the house about 3 hours ago and putting him into bed, minus his shoes and the coat he had had one. He felt disgusting.

He undressed and took a clean towel from a cupboard in his room before entering his bathroom and showering.

The water was too hot but Merlin did not turn it down. He stood, burning under the heat of the water, for longer than he knew he should. He scrubbed his body until it was raw and took the time to shampoo his hair before sinking to the floor of the shower where he sat under the fast jet that pounded onto his head.

After he was sure he had been in the bathroom for over an hour, he wrapped the towel around his lower half and went back into his room. He dried himself methodically and pulled on the first pair of sweat pants he came across. His skin was sore from the vigorous cleaning and too hot water so he did not bother searching for a shirt, instead picking up the clothes he had taken off as well as the wet towel, throwing them in the laundry hamper and then taking that downstairs.

Considering there had been a house party going on less than 12 hours ago in this very house, everything was spotless. There wasn't even the tell tale smells of alcohol or vomit to suggest that there had been anything other than a small, civilised gathering the night before. He supposed Gwen had made an effort to clean after she had made everyone leave, and for that he was grateful.

Leon was lay across the largest sofa in the living room, naked apart from his boxers. A fleece blanket which Merlin assumed had been covering him at some point lay on the ground at the foot of the couch. Wasted potential, Merlin found himself thinking. He had seen Leon play football many times and often thought the same thing, but even if he had been so much as bi-sexual, Leon was so hopelessly in love with Morgana that he would never stand a chance. Leon was the type of friend everyone should have. He was strong, so useful in the instance of moving houses, he was the exact opposite of a lightweight, so much so that Merlin, who was a lightweight, had only seen him properly drunk once, and so was usually the designated putter-to-bed, which was a useful title to be, he was incredibly loyal to his girlfriend, he had a steady, well paid job, and so was always willing to buy the next round and he was a great listener. He was of course also very easy on the eye. And straight.

Merlin put the laundry hamper down in the kitchen and then went back to drape the forgotten blanket across Leon's sleeping frame. He knew why he was still here and found himself wishing that his friends did not see him as some lost cause that always needed looking after. In this instance though, he thought he would be nice to have someone other than Gwaine for company.

Gwaine. Gwaine who didn't know that Will was dead. Who Merlin would have to tell that Will was dead. Another reason to be grateful for Leon's presence.

Merlin did the laundry, trying his hardest not to think about the day to come.

•••

"I think I'm going to call him," Arthur said aloud.

"Mnph?" was the response from Morgana.

"Merlin, I'm going to ring him, check that he's ok,"

"Arthur its 7am on a Saturday morning. If the poor boy's not still asleep then I doubt he wants a complete stranger poking his nose in where it's not wanted," Arthur glared at Morgana.

"Complete stranger? I'm his friend's girlfriend's brother, thank you very much. I just want to know that he's OK, no one should have to go through what he's going through alone,"

"What make you think he'll be alone? I get that you have a crush, but this guy was probably Merlin's first everything - he won't want to be reminded of all that by being thrown into a new relationship. Give him time,"

"Morgana, this is not about my sex life for Christ's sake! I want to check that the guy I met in the hospital canteen who has just lost his best friend is going to be OK. I'll call him whether you want me to or not," Arthur was verging on angry at this point but was silenced by the "Stop bickering you two," that came from a half awake Uther.

Arthur found himself wishing that he and Morgana had gone home rather than staying with their father and began to figure out how he was going to get Merlin's number.

•••

The dishwasher would not work.

Everything had been going swimmingly but then this.

Merlin had done his washing and ironed it and had then gone to see what kind of state the spare room was in which would have caused Leon to sleep on the sofa. Instead of the bombsite he was expecting, he found Lance and Gwen in the bed, curled around each other and showing no signs of waking for the next few hours.

He had then taken the glass he kept in his bathroom, filled it water and taken that, along with a packet of aspirin into Gwaine's bedroom and placed it on the bedside table. Gwaine also showed no signs of waking in the near future.

Back downstairs, he noticed that the dishwasher was full but had not been turned on. He put in the tablet, closed the door and turned the dial.

Nothing.

He checked that it was turned on at the wall. It was. Still nothing.

This did not make Merlin happy. Instead, it made him yank the door back open, take out a plate, and throw it against the nearest surface he could find. He walked over to the pieces and picked them up, to throw them back at the wall. He carried on taking glass after plate after bowl and destroying them.

It did not take long for him to wake Leon up, who came bounding into the kitchen. Merlin took one look at the expression on his face, dropped the broken fragments of a glass onto his foot and them dropped to the floor, not caring for the broken crockery he was sitting on. He didn't feel the pain; he didn't feel anything other than the dull ache coming from deep inside his heart.

•••

Merlin's antics not only woken up Leon, but also Gwen, Lance and Gwaine too. The latter did not appear happy about this and was clearly sporting a killer hangover.

Merlin could not give less of a fuck.

Gwen's brother being a nurse, she knew how to deal with the state Merlin had gotten his body into to make the bleeding stop until he could get to hospital.

She guided him into the living room and sat him down before cleaning his multiple wounds and wrapping them in thin bandages. The worst of the cuts adorned his hands, but his arms, feet, legs and face had not escaped the attack.

Leon quickly showered so that he could drive Merlin back to the hospital while Gwaine and lance made a start on the mess Merlin had made in the kitchen.

Merlin waited in a state of non-being but could not stop thinking about how nice the pain he was beginning to feel was.

•••

"Leon! I thought you said you'd ring us buddy?" Arthur spotted Leon in reception at the desk on his way out of the hospital. He had planned on going home and getting changed, as well as ringing the dance company and letting them know the situation with his father was better than expected and that he would be able to return sooner than he'd thought.

"Arthur. I'm so sorry, I've not really had the time to think about that," That's when Arthur saw him. Holding his knees to his chest sat on a plastic chair in the patient's waiting room.

"What happened?" He asked, indicating towards Merlin.

"We don't really know. I woke up to the sound of glass being smashed and found him throwing the contents of his dishwasher around the kitchen. He's not really said much though." Arthur walked towards Merlin and sat down in the chair next to his.

"Arthur!" this was possibly the last person Merlin wanted to speak to right now. "How's your father?"

"He's going to be fine. How are you?"

"I don't really know," Merlin replied. "I'm a darn sight better than my kitchen is though."

"I'm not so sure about that, you look pretty beat up to me. There are probably better ways of releasing your anger than this you know?" Merlin scowled at him

"Yeah well, it was a heat of the moment thing really. I'm sure if the washing machine had refused to wash my clothes then it'd be them that were strewn around my kitchen, it's just unfortunate that it happened to be the machine containing the glass wear." Arthur let out a low chuckle. "Hey! Don't laugh at my misfortune!"

"I'm sorry!" Arthur found his hand being pulled towards the laceration across Merlin's cheek but regained its control and pulled it back before it could make contact. "Do they hurt?" he asked instead.

"Not really. Not in a painful way anyway, they're helping to take my mind off things." There was something strange about the way Merlin said it, Arthur thought, but perhaps it was just because it was an odd statement to make in the first place.

Arthur's mouth was moving before he knew what his words were going to be. "Everything's going to be ok Merlin. You might not feel like it now, but I promise you it will."

Merlin simply gazed into Arthurs eyes in way of thanks, not trusting his voice to be able to lie and tell Arthur that he knew it would.

Because it wouldn't.

•••

The nurses gave Merlin stitches for a few of the cuts and bandaged them again before sending him on his way with painkillers and the advice to sleep it off.

No questions asked. No sympathetic looks. Merlin liked these people.

Leon waited with him and drove him back home afterwards. Gwen was waiting inside on the sofa with a mug of coffee between her hands. Gwaine was waiting to corner Leon to find out what the hell was going on.

So much waiting.

Merlin tried to go upstairs to his room but Lance blocked his way, instead directing him the sofa where he was placed next to Gwen and given his own mug of coffee. Though the scent was inviting, Merlin put it straight down on the table and fell into Gwen's lap. She stroked his hair until he fell asleep, thinking of the coffee Will used to make in uni and how it had always managed to make his outlook on the day positive, no matter what.

•••

For the next few days, Merlin spent most of the time sleeping. In his bed. On the couch. In Gwen's bed. On Gwen's couch. Lance did not seem to mind that Merlin had stolen his girlfriend, as well as his place to sleep. Gwen was, however, the one person who Merlin knew would be able to comfort him, physically and mentally, doing and saying the right things at the right time. As she worked in a local primary school which was currently broken up for the summer holiday, she was also conveniently available whenever Merlin needed her. He fell into the habit of calling her when he needed to hear someone's voice, and she would decide whether or not he needed her physical company. Sometimes Lance joined her, but Merlin got the feeling he was avoiding the visits. He was not the best person with feelings and Merlin didn't blame him for not wanting to be around a snivelling man.

Gwen and Lance needed to grieve too, but Merlin suspected they did it together, with a lot less tears than Merlin.

He eventually began to pick himself back up. The times he was alone he no longer wanted to recreate the pain he had felt from the cuts. He was able to hold a brief conversation with someone without linking every small detail to Will in his head. The cuts across his body began to heal and scar. Merlin kept busy with his work, knowing that if his mind was given free time, the progress he'd made in the last few weeks would be reversed.

He still slept for most of the mornings but now actually got dressed when he finally got out of bed. It was a Saturday and Merlin dressed in comfortable jeans and a tight turquoise v neck. He also pulled on socks and a black cardigan, knowing the downstairs of the house was always colder than the upstairs.

The house sounded quiet, and this was explained when Merlin found two notes on the counter.

"Gone to football with Leon, hope you don't mind. There's food in the fridge. Call Gwen if you need company. -G" Merlin was happy that Gwaine was getting back into his usual routine. He had been on babysitting duty for the past few weekends, Gwen and Lance seeming to have prior appointments which they could not get out of.

The second note was from Leon.  
"Hi Merlin, hope you're doing ok mate. Arthur asked Morgana to ask me to give you his number and to tell you to ring him if you need anything but Morgana told me to tell you that she's sorry for him being so forward and that you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of ringing it. I think he just wants a chat really and you two seemed to hit if off so I don't see the harm. If it comes up though, don't tell her I gave you the number. I'd quite like to still be able to play football by the time the competitive season kicks in. Let me know if I can do anything else, Leon,"

Merlin left both notes where they were, made coffee and then went back upstairs where he spent the next few hours meticulously cleaning.

•••

Arthur had been in the supermarket when his phone had rung.

"Arthur Pendragon speaking," he answered in his formal voice as the caller ID showed an unknown number.

"Pendragon eh," Merlin replied.

"Merlin? I certainly wasn't expecting you to call so quickly. I only asked Leon to give you my number yesterday night."

"He was round at mine this morning picking up my housemate. They play football together, that's how I knew Morgana that night in the hospital."

"Yeah, she said something about you being friends with Leon."

That was when Merlin realised that he was on the phone to almost a stranger, interrupting his day for no good reason and without a clue why he was really ringing. "Arthur I'm sorry, I don't really know why I rung you. I shouldn't have bothered you." he almost hung up there and then, but waited for Arthur's reply.

"Merlin it's no problem. I told you to call if you needed anything. So what do you need?" Merlin thought about it for long enough that Arthur had to shout his name down the line to see if he was still there.

"Sorry," he answered. "you know what, I could really do with some company, but I can't ask you to so that."

"Ask me anyway," was the immediate response he got from Arthurs end.

"Arthur, would you mind coming round to keep my mind off the fact that my best friend is dead and that I don't know how to hold myself together."

"Of course I will." Merlin gave Arthur his address, which walked out of the supermarket, groceries forgotten, and told Merlin he'd be there in 15 minutes.

•••

The sound of the doorbell made Merlin jump. He rose from where he'd been sat waiting on the sofa, vainly checked his appearance in the mirror and wished for a moment that he'd had the foresight to not throw plates around his kitchen, especially not the ones which were going to rebound onto his face. He had small cuts covering his forehead and the bridge of his nose, but it was the deep, ugly wound across his left cheekbone that annoyed him the most. Merlin sighed, walking to open the door.

For a moment they just stared. Arthur looked healthier than he had in the hospital, his eyes showing no signs of tiredness and his hair styled neatly so that it no longer resembled a bird's nest.

Merlin was sure he did not look quite as pleasing. Although he had been sleeping, he had barely eaten in the few weeks since Will's death, and it showed. His hair was mussed and in addition to the cuts, he was sure he was not portraying the image of a man who was holding it together.

Arthur did look mildly alarmed by the state in which he found Merlin, but chose not to comment on it. He did what was probably worse. "Hey, I was thinking, should we go out and get some food?"

"Arthur I-"

"I know this great little café just down the road from here; we could get lunch and go for a walk?"

"That's really not what I was hoping you were going to say," they were still stood in the doorway so Merlin motioned for Arthur to come into the house. As Merlin was walking round in socks, Arthur relieved himself of his shoes before following Merlin into the kitchen.

"What were you hoping I'd say," Arthur asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," Merlin replied. "Just not that you wanted to leave the house. I wanted company, not calories."

"I'm sorry," at that point, Arthur's stomach rumbled, showing Merlin that he had actually been hungry and was not just trying to interfere and get Merlin to do something he didn't want to.

Merlin opened the door to the fridge to survey its contents. Although his appetite had been nonexistent of late, Gwaine, who ate like an animal, had made sure the kitchen stayed stocked, probably more for his own benefit than for Merlin's.

"I can offer you a sandwich, if you're hungry? Or there's some left over lasagne?" Merlin looked back to Arthur, who he was pretty sure had been staring intently at his arse. Merlin's words pulled him out of his reverie.

"The lasagne sounds great, if it not too much trouble,"

"Unwrapping a plate of leftovers and bunging it in the microwave is one cooking feat I've actually mastered, it's no trouble at all," Merlin did just that and they waited in an almost comfortable silence.

"Shit, I'm a terrible host; I'm supposed to offer you a drink before I start feeding you! What would you like?" Arthur's expression said what he wouldn't say aloud. Merlin should not worry about being a bad host. He had much more important things on his mind.

Instead, he answered with, "Water's fine thanks," Merlin took two glasses from the nearest cupboard, Gwaine had replaced everything that Merlin had smashed, and filled them with water from the tap before placing them on the island and motioning for Arthur to sit down on one of the bar stools, which Merlin had been so happy to buy as they were the perfect height for making the island into an informal table. The microwave pinged to show that it was finished, so Merlin took the food out and placed it in front of Arthur.

"Enjoy your meal, sir," he said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"Do you expect me to eat with my fingers? What kind of uncivilised place is this?" he retorted. Merlin laughed and passed him a knife and fork. He watched Arthur dig into his food, which he did not take long to eat, resembling a hoover more than a human.

"Sorry," Arthur said when his plate was clean. "I only had a small breakfast before I went to training this morning and when I got home there wasn't much left in the house which was edible. I've been staying at Morgana's place; it's nearer to the hospital." Merlin listened intently to Arthur's ramblings, searching for a sign in his voice that told Merlin he did not want to be where he was, but found none.

"I'm glad you called. I didn't know if you would, certainly not that quickly anyway!" Arthur was standing up to take his dirty plate to the sink.

"I'm glad I did too. I feel like I'm a bit of a burden on my friends at the moment." Arthur looked as though he was going to wash his plate. "Just throw that in the dishwasher."

"Did you get it fixed?" he asked, pulling the door down and sliding the plate in.

Merlin didn't remember telling him about it being broken and assumed Leon must have. "It wasn't really broken, it was just having a bad day and I got too frustrated to see what was wrong with it." Merlin giggled with how ridiculous that sounded. He'd smashed up his entire kitchen because he had a domestic with his dishwasher.

Arthur's stomach rumbled again.

"What time did you eat breakfast this morning?" Merlin enquired, opening the fridge to what else he could offer Arthur.

"Way too early. I was at training for 5am, so around 4:15 maybe? I only had a banana as well, not the best for dancing for 5 hours."

Merlin gave him a sympathetic glance. "Well we have yoghurt. Or fruit? There might even be some crisps in the cupboard?"

Arthur thought about it before saying, "I'm actually in the mood for ice cream. Chocolate ice cream."

"Best comfort food in the world. There's some Ben & Jerry's in the freezer?"

"Sounds perfect," Arthur retrieved 2 spoons from the draw he'd seen Merlin get cutlery out of before whilst Merlin dug into the depths of thee freezer for the desert. He had to admit, the angle Merlin was bent at made his arse look very nice.

Morgana had warned him that getting involved with Merlin would be tricky, but Arthur had plenty of practice of sitting on his emotions, and that was what he intended to do until he found out Merlin's feelings. He found himself realising that he did not even know if Merlin was gay.

The cardigan and v neck screamed gay, as did the deep looks they had both been sharing, but Arthur was notorious for having the worst gaydar on the planet, so he would have to wait and see.

Merlin popped back up out of the freezer, ice cream in hand, and made his way into the living room, turning on the television before plopping down dramatically on the sofa. Arthur followed him, offering Merlin one of the spoons he was holding when Merlin handed over the ice cream. He shook his head before setting out to find the remote, so Arthur placed it carefully on the coffee table next to Merlin.

They settled on watching 'The Big Bang Theory', a show they found out they both enjoyed.

Merlin was actually enjoying himself. Their actions could not be more simple but Arthur was providing the companionable company Merlin had been craving for so long. They both laughed at the same places in the show and Merlin even absently picked up the spoon from where it sat and took a small spoonful of the ice-cream.

He realised how much Arthur had made him laugh today. It was not a lot, but still that was more than he had laughed in a long time. He found himself being able to have a good time and able to put to the back of his mind some of the troubles that had been plaguing him for so long.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the familiar red car that he knew to be Lances and when the doorbell rang slightly after, he shouted "it's open" in its direction.

Gwen entered arms full with shopping bags which she placed on the island before coming to press a kiss to Merlin's cheek.

Arthur watched the exchange not knowing who the woman was and at first could only assume it was Merlin's girlfriend, but when a tall, muscley male also entered the house a few moments later and performed the exact same actions, he found himself very confused.

"Gwen, Lance, this is Arthur," Merlin nodded to who stood up to shake their hands. "He's Leon's girlfriend's brother." Arthur could not decide if Gwen looked happy that Merlin had someone to talk to or annoyed that he was intruding. They greeted each other nicely enough regardless. "What all that?" Merlin asked, pointing to the assortment of bags which now littered his kitchen. "The area's not as nice as yours but your shopping won't get robbed if you leave it in the car,"

"Her shopping is in the car," Lance grumbled, showing that he'd been the one to take Gwen shopping and that he was regretting it.

"It's for you silly!" Gwen pretended not to hear Lance's remark. "Thought we'd get you some food, and the sales were on so I got you some of those t-shirts you like from Urban Outfitters."

"Gwen, tell me you didn't think the cupboards would be bare? You do know who I live with don't you? And you do know how much he eats? I've never lived with someone who keeps the kitchen so well stocked,"

"It's comfort food mainly. Gwaine may eat like an elephant but he does actually eat quite healthily," Merlin perused the bags and saw what mainly looked to be pizzas and ice cream. He also went to the Urban Outfitters bag and pulled out the first of the t-shirts, identical to the one he was wearing in a dark purple colour.

Arthur was stood awkwardly at the edge of the room so Merlin shouted over to him: "What do you think?" He held the shirt up to his body and did an impromptu twirl. Arthur laughed.

"Suits you," he replied. They made eye contact and once more Merlin felt like Arthur had more he wanted to say. Lance coughed and their moment ended.

"Topman bag?" Merlin stated.

"Cardigans. Because you're a big girl,"

"THAT dear Gwen is terribly homophobic. I've seen your boyfriend wear cardigans many a time and I think we both know he's straight,"

"That was one time because it was cold!" Lance piped up. Arthur began to put the pieces together in his head. Lance and Gwen were together. Merlin wears cardigans and Gwen thinks cardigans are gay. But Merlin said that straight people wear cardigans too. So is he into guys or not!

"Arthur!" Merlin was looking at him like he was crazy. "Gwen said what do you think?"

"Erm, I dunno, but they look good on you, Merlin," POTTY MOUTH. Brain to mouth filter FAIL. Arthur felt himself blush and looked down at his feet, but Merlin seemed to take it well.

"Why thank you. So there you have it, even if cardigans are not gay, gays look superior in them," Arthur snapped his head up at that. He felt three pairs of eyes bore into him and tried not to look like this piece of information would change his life.

Because it wouldn't, of course.

"Merlin, we'd better get going," Lance said, once again breaking the silence.

"Sure, how much do I owe you for this?" Merlin gestured to the bags in his kitchen.

"Nothing - " Merlin tried to protest but Gwen covered her ears, kissed his cheek and left the house. The three males stared after her with a mixture of adoration, confusion and awe.

"See you, Merlin," Lance said, following his girlfriend. "Ring us if you need anything,"

"Bye Lance, I will, thanks," Merlin shut the door behind Lance's retreating figure, turned to Arthur and started laughing.

"I'd forgotten how good this feels. Thank you," Merlin said. "You've been exactly what I needed."

"Trying to get rid of me already?" Arthur asked.

"Not if you don't have anything better to do?" Arthur shook his head to show that he would like to stay. They unpacked the shopping and Merlin took the clothes bags upstairs to his bedroom. When he came back downstairs, Arthur was sat back on the sofa, this time more towards the centre with the previously forgotten ice cream back in his hands. Merlin sat back in his sofa and pulled his legs onto the couch, letting them rest beside him, his feet almost touching Arthur's leg.

They sat like this for a while, watching nonsense on the TV and Merlin felt himself begin to drift into sleep. He didn't want Arthur to go just yet so he sat upright and searched for his spoon. His legs flailed and ended up across Arthur's lap, who didn't seem to mind. The spoon was nowhere to be seen.

"What are you doing down there?" Arthur asked after saving Merlin from almost falling off the edge of the sofa for the third time.

"I want ice cream; I'm looking for my spoon,"

"I took it back to the kitchen before, just use this one," Arthur held up his spoon before doing something he really shouldn't have.

Merlin fell back into his seat, leaving his legs across Arthur, who was dipping the spoon back into the tub. He held it out for Merlin to eat, feeding it to him rather than just giving him the whole spoon like a normal, sane adult would.

Merlin leant forward and took the spoon in his mouth.

That mouth. Arthur was suddenly imagining what else Merlin could do with that mouth. He had never seen anyone eat ice cream so seductively. He pulled the spoon away and sat, rigid and feeling very awkward. Merlin was looking at him, like he was waiting for him to make the next move.

Arthur didn't know what to do.

He really had only come to Merlin's house with good intentions. This turn of events was NOT planned.

Instead of getting up and walking away, the thing he knew in his head he should have done, he followed his heart, put the ice cream down on the table and scooped out another scoop. Gently, he picked up Merlin's legs and pushed them back off the sofa and shifted closer to Merlin, who was now sat bolt upright.

Again, Arthur fed Merlin the ice cream, and was immediately imagining Merlin's mouth all over his body. He let Merlin take the spoon and took the ice cream that Merlin offered him. He was clumsy, not at all calm and collected like Merlin seemed to be, but still Merlin looked for his lead.

Arthur took the spoon from Merlin's hand, turned so that his body was directly next to Merlin's, put his hand carefully against Merlin's face and leaned in to press their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and let me know if you enjoy! Constructive criticism is very welcome too!


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur was kissing Merlin.

Merlin was torn between retreating, the sensible thing to do, and losing himself in the intimacy that he had craved for so long. Arthur was hard to resist though. His lips were soft, his touch tender, as though Merlin was something he could break. Merlin pressed harder, showing Arthur that he was OK with this, OK with him.

Arthur felt terrible, as though he was taking advantage of Merlin at the worst possible time, but was drawn to Merlin in a way he could not explain. All afternoon, there had been a battle raging inside his head: was Merlin gay, was Merlin not? Did Merlin want Arthur to kiss him, did he not? Would Merlin run a mile if Arthur did kiss him, fleeing into the hills, never to be seen again after being mauled to death by wild bears, or would he not?

Arthur felt Merlin press his lips more insistently against his own. He laced the hand he had rested against Merlin's cheek into the short lengths of hair that collected at the nape of his neck and gently pulled Merlin's head closer. He deepened the kiss, previous qualms forgotten and helped Merlin, who was trying to make his way onto Arthur's lap.

Kissing Arthur was like nothing Merlin has ever done. The tension and unease Arthur felt was clear, Merlin did not blame him for being unsure of whether or not the kiss was a good idea. Although Arthur had initiated the kiss, he knew that he would need encouragement if Merlin was to get anything more than a gentle peck on the lips. Without taking his face away from Arthur's, he pulled his knee back onto the sofa and onto the other side of Arthur's hips. He felt Arthur's strong arms help ease him round so that Merlin was sat in his lap and Arthur relaxed into the seat of the sofa. As softly as he could, Merlin took Arthur's lower lip between his teeth and ran his tongue along the small line of flesh. Arthur reacted just has he had wanted, the touch making him want more and he felt Arthur's tongue trying to push his teeth away.

Arthur pushed his way into Merlin's mouth, his tongue now reaching to the back and exploring the unfamiliar territory. Merlin was being more cautious with his exploration, seeming to savour the moment so Arthur slowed down his frantic pace. Merlin tasted of the ice cream he had only just consumed and Arthur tried to search deeper for the unobscured taste of Merlin, to no avail. They kissed like this for a few moments before they both became impatient for more. Hands slid across muscles, fingers got tangled in hair, dark and light both, and mouths began to wander.

It was easier for Merlin to explore Arthur's face with his mouth than it was for Arthur, and Merlin took full advantage of this. He tentatively drew back, opening his eyes slightly, and placed his lips on Arthur's cheeks, nose, eyes. He saw Arthur's eyelids flutter slightly, a sign he took to mean that Arthur was enjoying himself and actually began to kiss the skin. A light moan escaped Arthur's lips and Merlin was being yanked back to meet Arthur's lips, were they engaged in a tantalising kiss. Merlin's hands skimmed down Arthur's side's making him squirm and his fingers caught on the hem of Arthur's t-shirt.

"Merlin stop," Arthur said. Merlin pulled back and looked at him quizzically. "I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable doing. We barely know each other and I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you while you're -"

"Let me do this," Merlin said, looking into Arthur's eyes to show that he didn't think that, not at all. "Please,"

Their lips met again, Merlin's delicate touch making Arthur lose his train of thought. Merlin's hands were back at his t-shirt, his fingers skimming over the skin above the waistband of his jeans. Not one to be beaten, Arthur pulled at Merlin's cardigan from the back, making it rest at his elbows and Merlin removed his hands from Arthur's stomach to take it off. He took advantage of Merlin's free hands and pulled Merlin's t-shirt over his head. Arthur allowed Merlin to do the same to him.

Merlin felt immediately embarrassed of his body the moment he took in Arthur's.

He should have expected it, Arthur was a dancer after all, but his breath still caught when he saw the defined abs that had been disguised by the baggy t-shirt he had been wearing. His arms were also toned and Merlin made no objection when these arms pushed him from Arthur's knee and down so that he was lay on the sofa with Arthur now above him.

•••

"Do you think Merlin will call Arthur then?" Leon asked Gwaine as they left the football pitch.

"I don't know," Gwaine replied. "Under any other circumstance Merlin would probably not have shut up about him since they met, but saying that, under any other circumstance they wouldn't have met in the first place. Maybe if he wants to talk to someone who didn't really know about Will then he will, but maybe not yet,"

"I hope he does," Leon and Gwaine were at Leon's car now and Leon unlocked the door for them to get in. "Arthur genuinely seems to care; Morgana says she's never seen him like this before."

"What's he like then?" Gwaine asked, putting on his seat belt as Leon started the engine.

"To be honest, he used to be a bit of a prick, especially when I first started seeing Morgana. He was used to getting his own way and his every need being tended to by his father's credit card. Now he's different though. That was all before Arthur dropped out of uni to pursue his dancing. He actually appreciates life and its worth now, he's insanely passionate about his job and he's a really great person. He's never had much of a love life really though, Gana says it's because he has trust issues after his father refused to stand by him and accept his choices, blah blah blah… I think he's just afraid of how much he really has changed and how much he wants to be able to love someone. Uther taught him that he would only get hurt if he fell in love, just like he did."

"Ouch. So what, he's more of a casual sex guy then?"Gwaine asked.

"I wouldn't say that, not anymore. There was a time when he was confused about his sexuality and he tried to force himself into liking girls, he knew Uther wouldn't be very impressed if his son turned out gay, but then he realised that he was never going to be able to make Uther happy. Now he's scared of getting involved with anyone in any way - he over thinks things too much. This thing with Merlin though, whatever it is or whatever it will turn into, it's shown me a different side of Arthur, one that really wants to be there for someone."

They rode the rest of the journey talking about football; the two men had had enough of talking about feelings.

When Leon pulled into Gwaine's street he saw another car in the space he usually parked. "I'm pretty sure that's Arthur's car," He said.

"I guess Merlin called him after all then. You coming in?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess I will,"

Leon parked behind Arthur and followed Gwaine up the garden path to the front door.

•••

Merlin's hands explored Arthur's torso as they continued to kiss. Arthur's legs rested on Merlin's but he held his body above Merlin's, allowing Merlin's roaming of his muscles to continue. Merlin slipped his tongue between Arthur's lips and the kiss once again deepened. Merlin pulled Arthur down so that he was completely on top of him and placed one hand on the small of his back while the other got lost in his hair while Arthur's hands both delved into Merlin's hair.

By this point, both Merlin and Arthur's jeans had become very tight. Arthur certainly did not want to be the first to make the move on this front but he felt that if they didn't get round to it soon there was a risk that he would actually explode. As if reading his mind, Merlin's hands found their way back to Arthur's chest and were quickly at the waistband of his jeans. His fingertips, slightly rough, tickled the skin and Arthur felt himself leaning into the touch. Merlin got the message and one hand crept into Arthur's jeans but found there was little room to move. His other hand undid the button and zip and Arthur pushed the jeans down to around his knees. Merlin held Arthur as they kissed again, losing themselves in the heat and passion of the moment.

That's why neither of them heard the front door open.

•••

Gwaine took his key out of his bag but found the door to be already open. Having company had obviously made Merlin forget about burglars and other such dangers. Of course, the area was never robbed, nor were there vampires that roamed the streets, searching for the fools that left their front door unlocked who would become their next prey.

"Merlin, you know there's a lock on the front door for a reason don't you?" Gwaine shouted, letting Leon in and turning to lock the door himself. When he moved to walk into the actual house, he bumped into the back of Leon who had stopped abruptly. Gwaine soon realised why.

He looked into the living room where Arthur was frantically pulling up his jeans and climbing off Merlin, who lay topless on the sofa. Both had turned bright red and were deftly avoiding making eye contact with Gwaine or Leon.

Gwaine was unfazed and was now on a mission to make the situation as awkward as possible. He strode into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out the milk and beginning to make himself a cup of coffee.

"Well hello there you two, good morning I see you're having. It's a good job we walked in when we did, don't you think Leon?" Leon did not reply, looking almost as embarrassed at catching Merlin and Arthur as Merlin and Arthur looked at being caught. "Brew anyone?"

•••

Fully clothed once more, Merlin and Arthur went into the kitchen behind Leon. They walked close to one another, their arms brushing against each other occasionally, and sat beside each other at the island.

"Good match?" Merlin asked, desperately searching for something other than his and Arthur's antics to talk about.

"Yeah it was, we barely scraped a win," Leon replied, clearly as eager to get back to a normal topic of conversation as Merlin was.

"Still on top of the league then, good," Merlin's choice of words made Gwaine snigger but everyone ignored him.

The conversation continued amicably, with Gwaine finding an innuendo in everything and anything, until everyone got fed up of him.

"Gwaine, please put something in your mouth before you find one of our fists in there," Merlin threatened.

"But I'm not hungry, Merlin," He replied. Unfortunately for him, his stomach chose that moment to display how hungry he actually was, so Gwaine miserably opened the fridge again and peered inside. "Hey," He said. "Who ate the last of my lasagne?" Merlin and Arthur grinned at each other. "It was you I'm guessing then?" He glared at Arthur, knowing that Merlin was unlikely to have willingly eaten anything recently. "I'm assuming this was before you started eating my housemates face?"

Arthur blushed. "Sorry, Gwaine, Merlin didn't tell me it was your food.

"What's yours is mine, right?" Merlin asked.

"Not food, dude, especially not the lasagne." Gwaine was surprisingly angry.

"Gwaine, I think we might have some back at mine, if you want that?" Leon offered.

"No thanks, I'd rather stay here and ruin Merlin's afternoon seeing as he ruined my lunch," Merlin rolled his eyes; Gwaine could be such a child.

"Right," Leon said. "You fancy coming out for a drink later on then? You two too?" Merlin tensed immediately at the suggestion. Drinks were the last thing he wanted to leave the house for. Keeping busy was one thing, socialising was another. Sensing his distress, Arthur discretely laid his hand on Merlin's knee where the others could not see.

"Are you inviting me to my own Saturday night out?" Arthur said, amused and trying not to draw attention to Merlin.

"Oh yeah, sorry," Gwaine was looking at Arthur and Leon confused.

"Saturday night drinks at the pub are a tradition of mine, Morgana and Arthur's that he started a long time ago." Leon explained.

"Whatever," Gwaine said, realising the story was to do with Arthur. "Count me in though. Doubt you'll get this one out of the house on a Saturday night though," Gwaine said, nodding in Merlin's direction.

"The accident was on a Saturday night," Merlin mumbled, looking down at the floor. Arthur squeezed his knee in reassurance while shooting Gwaine a death glare. This guy had no tact.

"Sorry Merlin," Leon said. "I didn't mean to upset you,"

Merlin snapped his head up. "Don't worry mate, you didn't, but I think I'll pass, thanks,"

"Of course. I'd better be going then, see you two later." Leon told Gwaine a time and a place for later that night and then left, having to ask Gwaine to unlock the door to let him out.

"Why do you do that when we've got guests round?" Merlin called to him.

"Do what?"

"Lock them in the house!"

"Because I know about safety, dear Merlin," Gwaine replied. "I'm getting a shower and then going out to buy more food."

"There's plenty of food, Gwaine," Merlin told him.

"I want lasagne and I'm not in the mood for making it," he said grumpily, going upstairs. "You two behave," He called from the landing.

Merlin relaxed, sighing an audible sigh, and Arthur's hand rubbed up and down his thigh. "TV?" He said.

"Sure," They went back into the living room and sat back down, Merlin leaning against Arthur's shoulder and Arthur placing his arm along the back of the sofa. They flicked through the channels until they found something watchable and settled on a rerun of an old Smallville episode as Gwaine came down the stairs, cast them an almost disapproving look and left to go to the supermarket.

"I always hated how Lex and Clark were such good friends and it turned out so badly," Arthur said, trying to make conversation.

"I want to come tonight," Merlin said instead.

"What?" Arthur asked, taken aback.

"I want to come out with you tonight. I just don't know if I can,"

"You don't have to, don't let Gwaine get to you,"

"I can't spend every Saturday night for the rest of my life hiding away because it's some kind of anniversary, Arthur."

"No, you can't," Arthur replied. "But it's barely been a month; you don't have to be moving on that quickly."

Merlin sat upright to look at Arthur's face. "I know. But if I keep putting it off I'll get into a rut that I can never get out of. Would you mind if I came?" He asked.

"Of course not," Arthur's mobile chose that moment to ring, blaring out the Ketchup song. "I really need to change that," Arthur mumbled before answering. "Hello? Oh, hi. Well yeah actually. Not really. OK OK. I'll be there in half an hour. Bye." Arthur hung up the phone looking positively miserable.

"You have to go?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah, sorry. The dance company want me in for some emergency rehearsal; I wouldn't go if I didn't absolutely have to." Arthur looked genuinely sad that he had to leave.

"It's fine," Merlin said. "I'll see you tonight won't I?"

"I should be able to get away in time. I'm sorry, Merlin,"

"Arthur, its fine!" They both got up from the sofa and walked to the front door where Arthur bent down to slip his feet back into his shoes. He stood up and turned to Merlin.

"Do you want me to pick you up tonight?" He asked.

"Don't be silly, I'll come with Gwaine." Merlin replied.

"I don't think Gwaine likes me all that much," Arthur worried aloud.

"That's my fault; I shouldn't have given you his food. He'll get over it."

"I hope so; I'm no good with hostility. I'll see you later," Arthur put one hand on the door handle and paused. In the time it took for Arthur to think about kissing Merlin goodbye, Merlin pulled his head round to face him and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"See you later," He said, closing the door after Arthur and wondering what he was getting himself into.


	4. Chapter 4

Gwaine laughed in Merlin's face when he walked down the stairs in a shirt and skinny jeans. "I didn't think you were being serious when you said you were coming!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Merlin asked, offended.

"Merlin, you don't have to do this -"

"Why is everyone adamant that I shouldn't leave the house! Leon asked me if I wanted to come out for a drink and I said yes. I can't live the rest of my life hiding away in a cave, Gwaine! Now are you ready to go or not?" Gwaine was taken back at Merlin's outburst. "Does this shirt look silly?"

"No, you look fine," Gwaine replied as they left the house and got into his car.

Merlin was not quite sure whether this was a good idea, but he would soon see.

•••

Leon, Arthur and Morgana arrived at the pub before Merlin and Gwaine and so chose a booth and ordered their drinks. They were sat down talking about Merlin when Arthur spotted him.

Percy.

Percy was a musician he had worked with on his last show and who had had a huge crush on Arthur, or Arthurs arse, as many of the other dancers had pointed out on numerous occasions.

"Arthur!" Percy shouted in his direction. Leon and Morgana, having heard the stories about Arthur's almost-stalker, looked at each other and burst out laughing. Fat lot of good they were going to be then. Percy was walking towards their table and Arthur saw no way, no way at all, of getting out of this one.

Percy slid into the booth next to him; into the seat Arthur had been saving for Merlin, and threw his arm around Arthur's shoulder. "How have you been?"

"Percy, hi, I've been good, how are you?" Arthur glared at Morgana, his useless sister, looking for some kind of help, and found none, nor any from Leon.

"Great! I'm great! I was thinking about you the other day actually -"

"Gwaine! Merlin!" Leon stood up and waved the newcomers over to their table. Everyone slid round to make room, Gwaine sitting next to Leon leaving Merlin space next to Percy.

"It appears I know none of your friends, Arthur," Percy said loudly. Arthur apologised half heartedly and went round the table offering introductions.

"My sister, Morgana. Her boyfriend, Leon. His friend, Gwaine. And this," Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes. "Is Merlin,"

"And Merlin needs a drink," He mumbled. "Gwaine, what're you having?" Gwaine gave his response and Arthur offered Merlin a hand. "I can manage thanks."

•••

Percy was over the top all evening and Arthur did his downright hardest to get rid of him at every possible opportunity, to no avail.

Morgana and Leon tried to balance the conversation, to get Merlin and Gwaine to talk about each other, but they could barely get a word in edgeways. Percy made sure that everyone knew every detail of the time he and Arthur had spent working together and allowed no room for interruptions.

Percy could not take his eyes off Arthur. For this reason, Merlin could not take his eyes from Percy. He was tall and muscular, the type of person who filled the room with his presence, and his attractiveness did not escape Merlin. He was, Merlin thought, much better suited to Arthur than himself and Merlin found his hopes of a nice evening spending time with Arthur slipping away.

Arthur noticed how Merlin's attention was focused on Percy and found himself increasingly aggravated at the male. He knew Merlin would be wondering why Arthur would want Merlin when he could have Percy and he hoped the answers were right in front of him. Percy needed to be the centre of attention and was nothing but aware of his looks and how to use them. Arthur wanted nothing more than for him to leave so he could enjoy the rest of his evening but alas, no.

Merlin had had enough. When Gwaine returned from taking a call on his mobile he leant over the table and asked if they could go home.

"Actually, that was Elena on the phone, I'm gonna go round to hers in a bit, but I can take you home first?"

"Please," Merlin said. "Any objections to going right now?" Merlin and Gwaine said their goodbyes and made an exit.

•••

"I'm sorry, mate," Gwaine said in the car. "Despite eating my lasagne, he did actually seem like a nice guy,"

"Don't, Gwaine. You are the last person I want to talk to about this." Gwaine shut up for the rest of the ride, which was fortunately only short, and let Merlin out of the car without stopping the car. Merlin hadn't meant to snap but Gwaine had a tendency to get smug when it came to things like that and he was not in the mood.

He let himself into the house, turned on the TV and took up residence on the sofa. There was a showing of Notting Hill which he left on and was almost immediately asleep in the most uncomfortable position imaginable.

Merlin was awoken by a loud banging. He couldn't tell whether it was coming from the TV or from inside his head, but as he slowly regained consciousness he realised it was neither and the noise was in fact coming from the front door.

He got up and crossed the room in the dark, having not turned on any lights when he had got back, and banged his shin on an unidentifiable object – probably a table leg. "Shit," He said aloud and opened the door.

•••

Arthur had left the pub shortly after Gwaine and Merlin, telling Percy that he was not, never had been, and never will be interested in him. Percy had not looked happy, and Morgana told him not to do anything stupid but Leon had given him an encouraging smile as he rushed out into the car park and drove to Merlin's.

He heard Merlin bang into something inside the house and put it down to the fact that there were no lights on, that he could see. Merlin swore and opened the door, not pausing to unlock it as it was already unlocked, something he was sure Gwaine would not be too happy about.

When Merlin opened the door Arthur could tell, even with the lack of light, that Merlin had just woken up. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to wake you up,"

"It's fine, I was only on the sofa, hadn't even got changed so it's a good thing you did really," Merlin responded, still stood in the doorway. "What are you doing here," he asked bluntly.

"I wanted to apologise for tonight, it wasn't really the best way to get your social life back on track,"

"You couldn't do that in the morning?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were OK," Arthur said sincerely.

"I didn't mean to be snappy," Merlin said. "Do you want to come in?"

Arthur did, and Merlin locked the door behind him this time. They ended up on the sofa once more, sat close but not touching, watching the rest of the movie and trying hard not to make fun of it.

"In what crazy era did they ever think that these clothes looked good?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know, but Hugh Grant still looks pretty good to me,"

"You would think that Hugh Grant's hot," Merlin could almost hear the eye roll.

"Hugh grant is hot," he retorted. "Notting Hill - hot. Love actually - hot -"

"Sense and Sensibility?" Arthur cut in.

"Still hot," Merlin said. "Go on then, if Hugh Grant doesn't do it for you, who does?" Merlin challenged.

Arthur thought about it for a moment before saying to Merlin: "Guess,"

"That's mean. Let's see, I can't see you being much of a Colin Firth guy -"

"Colin Firth is old!" Arthur shot back.

"That's a no to George Clooney as well then. Leonardo Di Caprio?"

"Never tickled my fancy," Arthur told Merlin.

"Not even in Titanic?" Merlin couldn't believe Arthur didn't think Leo was hot.

"ESPECIALLY not in Titanic," Arthur grimaced.

"You're not a fan of the classics then?" Merlin studied Arthur's face, looking for clues.

"You seemed pretty into Smallville earlier, are you a comic book movie guy? Robert Downey Jr.? Chris Hemsworth?"

"No and no, but you're kinda there with the comic book thing,"

"HUGH JACKMAN!" Merlin shouted. Arthur laughed.

"Nice, but still no. Right series though,"

"Right series? So an x-men spin off?" Arthur nodded. "Obviously not Wolverine - First Class?" A smile crept across Arthur's mouth. "Oh my god! You totally fancy Michael Fassbender!"

"Oh my god!" Arthur mocked. "I totally do," they both laughed and shifted a little closer to each other on the sofa "it's a shame he turns into a complete psycho and basically kills Charles though,"

"Just like Lex and Clark," Merlin said, referring back to their earlier conversation.

"Exactly," Arthur was enjoying himself but he felt he needed to clear the air about earlier. "Listen, Merlin, I really wish Percy hadn't shown up tonight. I wanted you to have a good time and he ruined that."

Merlin shrugged and closed the small distance between them to press his lips against Arthur's "I'm having a good time now,"

They eventually fell asleep, Arthur sat upright with Merlin's head in his lap, their hands entangled and before they could see how much they resembled the final scene of Notting Hill.

•••

Merlin awoke to someone shaking his shoulder gently and was confused as to where he was and why he was so uncomfortable.

"Merlin," a voice whispered. Merlin placed the voice as Arthur's and remembered the previous night and assumed they must have fallen asleep watching the movie. He rolled over so that he was facing Arthur and smiled.

"I was enjoying that sleep," he mumbled.

"You'd enjoy it even more if you were actually in a bed," Arthur told him.

"Sofa's'fine," he replied, rolling back over and burying his face in Arthur's lap.

"Come on sleepy head," Arthur lifted his knees, forcing Merlin up and helped him up the stairs, though he was not sure how he was managing to be so helpful, he was just as tired as Merlin was. His arm firmly tucked around Merlin's waist, Arthur waited for Merlin to give an indication of which room was his. "Am I leaving you out here on the landing then?" he joked. Merlin whipped round.

"Please stay," he asked, his eyes meeting Arthur's and finding himself unable to not be drawn into them.

"I will if you want me to?" Merlin did. They entered his bedroom and Merlin told him to wait on the bed. He came back a few moments later with a simple black t-shirt in his hands.

"It's Gwaine's," Merlin said, passing it to Arthur. "Nothing of mine will fit you." He explained.

"Do I use it as a pillow?" Arthur asked, and Merlin shot him an exasperated look.

"You put it on, idiot. I'm assuming you don't carry your pyjamas around with you so you can sleep in that,"

"I do have an overnight bag in the car actually," Arthur told Merlin, proud of himself. "It doesn't have pyjamas in though; I usually just sleep in my boxers, if that's ok?"

Merlin appeared to mull over Arthur's question as he himself was taking off the shirt and skinny jeans he had worn to the pub. On the floor beside him was a large t-shirt which would clearly be baggier than the ones Merlin favoured in the daytime and a pair of tartan bottoms.

Tartan.

"Won't you get cold?" Merlin asked, recapturing his attention.

"I rarely get cold," Arthur told Merlin. "I'll put the t-shirt on if it makes you more comfortable," he said, reaching for the shirt and beginning to undress.

"Arthur, your nudity makes me everything but uncomfortable," Merlin said. "It does get bloody cold in here at night though,"

"If I do get cold, I can just put it on, right?" Merlin nodded as he continued getting ready for bed. Arthur slid out of his jeans and abandoned them on the floor beside the bed and climbed under the duvet. Merlin got in on the other side, Arthur had chosen the side of the bed whose bedside table was not cluttered, telling him it was not Merlin's side, and immediately leant back against Arthur's chest. "Thank you," he said.

"For being semi-naked in your bed?" Arthur asked. Merlin elbowed him in the ribs. "What for?"

"You've ruined the moment now," he replied grumpily.

"I'm sorry, you're welcome for whatever it was you were thankful for," Arthur shifted closer to the centre of the bed and Merlin moved so that his head rested on Arthur's chest.

He could hear the steady beat of Arthur's heart as he fell asleep.

•••

When Merlin woke up the bed was empty.

It took him a while to remember that there had in fact been someone else in the bed with him, but when he did, Merlin was not impressed.

The clock on the bedside table told him it was time to wake up, and though he was not expecting anyone to be in the house to keep him company, he knew that if he stayed in bed much longer he wouldn't end up getting out of it at all.

He didn't bother getting dressed and went downstairs in his pyjamas in search of coffee. There was a note on the island.

Merlin, I have to go to training, really sorry. I enjoyed last night, ring me after 5 - Arthur x

Merlin told himself he would not be ringing Arthur. For some reason, the abrupt departure which suggested they had slept together and Arthur was ashamed or the feeble note perhaps, Merlin was really angry at Arthur. It also may have had something to do with the fact that Merlin was completely alone in the house on a Sunday with nothing to do and had been hoping Arthur would stay with him. His anger was completely irrational but there was nothing he could do to quell it.

Gwaine was often like this, overly angry for no reason, and most of the time it could be almost solved by feeding him something so Merlin thought that coffee might help.

It had the opposite effect.

Waking Merlin up made him realise how annoyed he was, rather than making him be rational and see that there was nothing for him to be annoyed about.

He also knew that Gwen could be like this from their time living together so he rang her. It took three attempts for her to pick up.

"Sorry Merlin, I didn't hear the phone ringing," That's a lie, Merlin thought. He had deliberately personalised the ringtone on Gwen's phone so that when he rung an obnoxiously loud ringtone would sound, as well as the screen lighting up and the phone vibrating so that she would never miss his calls. She was probably hoping she could avoid him, Sundays were the day everyone least wanted to spend with Merlin. "Everything ok?" She asked.

"Well I was wondering, you know when you get really angry about little things for no reason?" he said.

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"You really have to ask me that Merlin? Girl problems, dufus," Oh yeah, he thought. "Why? What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Very funny. Nothing really, nothing important anyway. I just wanted to know how you make yourself see sense,"

"I usually cry over whatever it is that I've blown out of proportion and then Lance brings me Ice Cream. Does the trick most times. You can come over and talk about it if you like" She offered.

"Its fine, I'm sure you don't want to spend all day cooped up inside listening to me moan over nothing," He could almost hear Gwen's nod. "I'll just stay here and try to force myself into being reasonable, thanks though."

"OK, ring me if you need anything,"

"Sure, bye."

Merlin decided to go for a run to try to clear his head. He got changed into his running gear, it being a hobby he had enjoyed before Will's death, and set out on one of his usual paths. He encountered no one he knew, for which he was grateful, but the fresh air and time to think only reinforced his anger.

Merlin really didn't know what was wrong with him. Arthur had shown him nothing but kindness and he hadn't done anything in the sexual department that Merlin hadn't agreed to.

He began to realise that he had grown to rely on Arthur way more than he had ever relied on anyone before. This was strange because they had known each other for so little time, but Arthur had been there since the night of the accident and had really proved he cared. This was why Merlin was upset, and even this realisation could not shift the blame and anger Merlin was pushing onto Arthur.

In the ridiculously short time they had been friends, Arthur had become the one person Merlin could turn to and who had really wanted to be there for him. Merlin needed him now, so where was he. He needed someone to take his mind off the fact that his best friend would never tell Merlin what a hopeless idiot he was, would never spend time video chatting with him when he missed him, would never smile his goofy smile and would never fall asleep on the couch with him after a daylong Harry Potter marathon where Merlin would sit through the first 6 movies waiting for Jamie Campbell Bower's tiny appearance in the 7th to annoy Will by going on about how much he fancied him.

Merlin had spent so long grieving Will's actual death that he hadn't given a thought to the little things which were the basis of their friendship.

Merlin was minutely aware of a car beeping its horn as he ran along the main road but was too wrapped up in his moment to realise that it was after his attention. When a car slowed down beside him and someone shouted his name, he turned his body to see Gwaine's head poking out of the window of his car, and tripped over a fallen tree branch he had not seen on the pavement.

He came crashing the floor and instantly felt the pain shoot through his ankle, too intense to just be a sprain, and knew straight away that he had done some damage.

Gwaine's car stopped on the curb and he got out as Merlin was trying to get to his feet. He didn't want Gwaine to know he was hurt, but he could tell something was wrong by the way Merlin leant against the nearest tree for support and didn't put his weight on his right foot.

"Get in the car idiot. I'll take you to the hospital," Gwaine said. Merlin didn't bother pointing out that this was Gwaine's fault in the first place. He hoped that Gwaine would assume the tears rolling down his face were to do with the pain and not due to the fact Merlin had almost been having a meltdown. As with the night of the incident with the crockery, the pain gave Merlin something different to concentrate on and he focused on doing just that.

"I don't need the hospital, just let's go home," he said to Gwaine as he was helped into the filthy backseat of Gwaine's car.

"Nice try, but I know you. You wouldn't be crying over a little sprain, would you?" Merlin shook his head. "See, you've obviously hurt yourself pretty bad. Hospital it is,"

Gwaine got back into the driver's seat and did a highly illegal u-turn in the middle of the road in order to be travelling in the direction they needed to.

Although the ache in his ankle was doing a good job of keeping his mind occupied, there was a small part of him that refused to let go of the thoughts he had been thinking. His heart swelled and tears began to pour down his cheeks again. Gwaine saw them from in the rear view mirror.

"We're nearly there, Merlin," he said, obviously trying to be reassuring. "You must've hurt yourself pretty bad, huh?"

"I miss him, Gwaine." he choked out, his voice small and broken, mirroring how Merlin felt. Gwaine met his eyes in the mirror.

"Everything's going to be fine," he told him, but Merlin knew once more that it would not.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

•••

Although Merlin had broken his ankle, the doctors said that it was a clean break and would be healed relatively quickly. He let them put on the cast in a state of numbness and only pretended to take the pain medication they gave him. He was still able to focus some of his energy on his ankle and he thought if he took that away, he would well and truly be in a terrible state.

Gwaine helped Merlin out of the hospital in his crutches and was leant against the side of the car waiting for Gwaine to unlock it when Morgana spotted him and came rushing over.

"What've done this time, Merlin?" she asked incredulously. Arthur had no doubt informed her of the last time he had seen Merlin in the hospital, and Merlin was still bearing the scars of that particular incident.

"Fell over," he mumbled.

"He was momentarily blinded by my good looks and lost his footing while he was out jogging. Hi Morgana," Gwaine contributed.

"Hi Gwaine. Well I hope you're OK Merlin but I have to dash, they're supposed to be letting my father out today and I'm sure there are a kinds of forms I'll have to fill out. On my own, I might add seeing as my useless brother is off prancing around like a girl, again." The malice was covered by Morgana's jokey tone, but Merlin knew just how she felt. They all said goodbye and Gwaine helped Merlin into the car, the front seat this time as Merlin refused to go in the back seat amongst the filth and grime again.

"You haven't been out jogging in ages," Gwaine commented when they were almost home.

"I thought it would clear my head," Merlin told him.

"Did it work?" Gwaine asked, either having the courtesy not to ask what had been bothering him or assuming that the answer would be Will.

"Not really,"

When they got home, Gwaine helped Merlin into the house and upstairs to his bedroom. With Gwaine's help, he changed back into his pyjamas - he would tackle the showering issue tomorrow.

Merlin climbed under the duvet knowing he did not stand a chance of getting anything productive done in his current state. Gwaine fetched supplies from downstairs, bringing up food, drinks and a DVD, and climbed onto the bed beside Merlin after he put the film on. Gwaine ate for a good twenty minutes as Merlin sipped on a glass of water before saying, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Merlin shook his head, willing himself to hold it together but heard himself speak anyway. "It only just hit me." he said. "How I'm really never going to see him again." His voice sounded dead and his chest ached. Gwaine put his arm around Merlin's shoulders and did not push the issue. Merlin managed to fall asleep through his pain, both mental and physical, against Gwaine's shoulder.

•••

Gwaine shifted under him about an hour later, trying to get Merlin off him without waking him up, but Merlin did anyway. He looked alarmed, pleading with Gwaine through his eyes not to leave him.

"I'm just going for more snacks, I'll be back in a minute, go back to sleep," Gwaine reassured him. Although Merlin was still sleepy, he felt jumpy without human company and the pain in his foot had reached an unmanageable level. He shifted on the bed to lean over the side to retrieve the pills he had been given in the hospital and washed them down with a gulp of water.

He heard his phone ringing from where he had left it downstairs the night before and pictured Gwaine rushing to pick it up and bounding upstairs with it.

"It's Arthur." He said, handing Merlin the phone. "Do you want anything else from downstairs?" Merlin shook his head and took the phone, immediately rejecting the call. Gwaine went back downstairs to get what he had gone for and Arthur rung twice more. He then texted, which Merlin read.

Morgana just told me what happened. Ring me x

And then a few moments later:

Sorry, just realised that you're probably asleep or something. Hope you're OK, ring me if you need anything x

Infuriated, Merlin threw his phone at the nearest wall and heard the screen crack.

I did need something. Merlin thought. I needed you, and now I wish I could stop.


	5. Chapter 5

The next week was tough, just as he knew it would be. The month anniversary was coming up, the funeral was scheduled for Tuesday and though he was assured that his foot was healing well, it hurt like a mother fucker.

Arthur called a number of times on Monday, all of which Merlin ignored. This led to the texts Arthur was sending becoming more frequent and increasingly worrisome.

Gwaine took surprisingly good care of Merlin, bringing him food which he rejected most of the time, and keeping him dosed up on pain relief.

The funeral passed in a blur of memories and emotion but Merlin managed to wait until he was home to let it out. Gwen came back with him and sat on the couch holding him whilst he cried himself out. It was no wonder Merlin had turned out gay, he was such a girl about everything.

"I thought maybe you'd have asked Arthur to the funeral, Gwaine's been telling me about what a good friend he's been," Gwen said after Merlin was down to wracking out broken, tearless sobs.

"He didn't know Will, why would I have?"

"I don't know, for support maybe?"

"He's too good at being supportive." Merlin said simply.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Gwen asked, giving Merlin a quizzical look.

"Nothing," Merlin mumbled. Unfortunately, Gwen knew him too well and pressed the matter.

"I just don't want him to think I'm a needy little girl. He was there when I needed him to be and I was becoming too reliant on him." Gwen was not following.

"Why would he think you're too reliant on him? If he wants to be there for you, let him. You seem like you're making something out of nothing, Merlin," She said.

"Probably am," he said.

"Then why didn't you invite him?"

"Please don't Gwen,"

"I don't want to act like an interfering old cow - "

"You are,"

"BUT I'm worried about you, me and Lance both. Leon and Morgana were round at ours the other day and they both agree that he's exactly what you need to help you get through this. You tried once to get back out there, you got your confidence knocked and now you refuse to try again," This was not true. He wasn't avoiding being sociable, just Arthur.

"Do either of you know Arthur well?" He asked.

"No - "

"And do Leon and Morgana know me well?"

"Leon - "

"Leon knows jack shit about me." He got a disapproving look for that comment, no one ever bad mouthed Leon, it was not the done thing.

"None of you can say that he is what I need. What I need is not for Arthur to become my shoulder to cry on and then get bored of me, I need to move on in my own time and hope that I haven't already scared him off."

"You are unbelievably stubborn, Merlin,"

"I'm sorry," he said, without being sure if he meant for being stubborn, being rude to her or for knowing that he was not going to be letting Arthur back in anytime soon.

•••

On Thursday he had to go back on that promise which he had made to himself. He had a hospital appointment to get his foot re-potted and needed to be there for 10am. It was only at 8 that morning that Gwaine told Merlin that he had a meeting in Cardiff in the morning and wouldn't be able to take him. He rang Lance to see if he was free but he was already at work and couldn't get away and then rung Leon who regrettably informed him that his car was in the garage and that Morgana's car was with her at Uther's holiday cottage, otherwise he could have taken him in that. The only taxi company in the area worked on an advance booking only system and by the time the bus became an option, it would take too long for him to get there and he would completely miss his appointment.

He really was left with only one option.

"Merlin?" To say that Arthur sounded surprised would be an understatement.

"Are you at training?" he asked before Arthur could complete any of the niceties.

"No, not until this afternoon. Is everything alright?"

"I hate to ask, especially after I've been ignoring you for the past few days, but would you be able to run me down to the hospital for 10am?"

"I don't see why not, what do you need to be there for?"

"I'm just getting my pot reset."

"Oh yeah, how is the foot?" he asked, and Merlin picked up on the tone which suggested Arthur did not mean the 'oh yeah' and had in fact not forgotten about his ankle once since Morgana had told him what happened.

"It's not bad," he replied.

"I'll be at yours for half 9 then? Will that be enough time to get there do you think?"

"Better make it 20 past, traffic and all that,"

"I'll see you in a bit then," Arthur agreed.

"Thanks Arthur,"

Merlin realised that it was already 9 and that he still needed to eat and get changed. He took a handful of crunchy bran from the box and threw then in his mouth, knowing it would be enough to keep him going for hours. He hobbled upstairs and changed his t-shirt first whilst sipping regularly on coffee to keep him awake, and had just managed to get his pyjama bottoms off when the doorbell rang. 20 minutes had passed obscenely quickly.

He tried to pull on his jeans over his pot and fell onto the floor. While trying to get up, Arthur rang again, for longer this time, and Merlin managed to haul himself to his feet, jeans still around his ankles.

He abandoned the attempt at dressing and went back downstairs in just boxers to let Arthur in.

He hid behind the door when he opened it and told Arthur to sit in the living room and to not look at Merlin, but he had no doubt his almost naked arse was getting stared at as he made his way back upstairs.

After 3 more attempts at getting the jeans on and 1 more crash to the floor, he called Arthur up.

"Can you just push this jean leg over the pot?" He asked, highly embarrassed that he was incapable of dressing himself. Gwaine had been happy to help for the last week as long as he had been able to make fun of Merlin for it also, but Arthur complied without comment. He even passed Merlin a hoody and thin coat to put on, saying that it was really cold outside.

The ride to the hospital was awkward to say the least. Arthur kept stealing glances at Merlin, as if to check that he was still there, and Merlin felt the remnants of his blush were still on his cheeks after the dressing incident.

As they pulled into the car park Merlin told Arthur to just leave him at the front door.

"I don't think the other patients will be too happy if I sit there in my car waiting for you to come out," he replied, driving past the entrance and beginning to look for a space.

"You don't have to wait, Arthur," Merlin told him.

"Well I did think I'd let you walk home but then I decided it was a little cruel," he said, his voice thick with sarcasm.

"I can get a bus,"

"I'm here now, Merlin. I'll come in with you and take you home, and I want to so don't tell me not to," Arthur clearly was not going to be one to put up with his stubborn streak.

After Merlin was done, and had had a stern word from a doctor about his weight, or lack thereof, Arthur helped him into the car and began to take him home.

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out by calling so much," Great, Merlin thought. Now he feels guilty.

"You didn't. I was just feeling funny about the whole thing - to be honest, I didn't want you to think I was getting too clingy or needy or something. I'm sure that's a trait neither of us misses in our preferred gender." Arthur threw him a befuddled look.

"Why on Earth would you think I thought that? You saw how I was with Percy last week, if I didn't want to talk to you, don't you think you'd know about it?"

"I suppose," Merlin said, feeling all of a sudden incredibly vulnerable

"You suppose? It sounds to me like you're looking for an excuse to get out."

"That's not it,"

"Then tell me," Merlin paused.

"I think," he stopped again as Arthur turned to face him. "I think I don't want to get close to you because I know that you will turn my world upside down and I'm scared that you'll end up meaning so much to me and then you'll get hurt, just like Will, and I'll not be able to deal with it," Arthur mulled Merlin's words over as Merlin buried his face into his arms.

"You are one fucked up kid, Merlin," he joked. Then he took Merlin's hand and pulled it away from his face, holding it tenderly. "How about I promise I won't get hurt?" Merlin would not turn to face him.

"You can't promise that," he said simply.

"You're right, I can't, but I can try my damned hardest, and I can promise to help you through this, Merlin,"

He slowly turned to meet his eyes.

"Let me in, Merlin,"

Merlin began to move closer to Arthur's lips before he realised they were stopped at a particularly long red light and Arthur wouldn't be able to kiss and drive at the same time. Instead, he squeezed Arthur's hand and leant back in his seat for the rest of the ride.

•••

"I'm sorry I was such an idiot," Merlin said as Arthur pulled into his street.

"Don't be," Arthur parked the car up and then walked ahead of Merlin with the key and unlocked the front door.

"Coming in?"

"Only for a bit," Arthur replied, stepping into the house and taking off his shoes. "You got any food?" he asked. He was almost as bad as Gwaine.

"Gwaine's taken to freezing his leftovers and not leaving them lying around, if that's what you're asking." They both laughed.

"I'll make sandwiches," Arthur said, despite the fact that it was barely even lunch time. "Sit down," he was told.

Arthur shouted through many times to ask where various kitchen items were, but seemed to manage OK on his own. Unfortunately, he had been present when Merlin had been told he needed to eat more, so when Arthur came back into the living room with his own ham salad sandwich, he was not surprised to see that he had been made one too. Arthur also brought a tube of Salt & Vinegar pringles he had found and tucked right in.

Merlin picked up his own sandwich tentatively and began to nibble slowly at the crusts.

"I was actually under the impression that you were a human, not a mouse," Arthur said, having already eaten a half of his own sandwich. This caused Merlin to take a larger chunk and he was able to appreciate how good a sandwich it actually was.

"S'good," he said.

"You going to eat that other half as well then?" Arthur asked.

"Probably not," he replied, knowing that this would leave him full for the rest of the day. Arthur picked it up off his plate and put it down on his own.

By the time they had finished it was time for Arthur to go to training.

"It's a month tomorrow, isn't it?" he asked at the door. Merlin nodded. "I have Fridays free, I can come over if you like?"

"You don't have to,"

"I want to, Merlin." Merlin told him to come over whenever he wanted then and was expecting it when Arthur pressed a short but firm kiss on his lips.

•••

When Gwaine got home he seems puzzled by the grin that was still spread across Merlin's face.

"How was the meeting?" He asked as Gwaine threw himself around the kitchen.

"More boring than that time you made me sit through all the Nicholas Sparks movies," he replied. "Why are my pringles on the table?"

"They're not your pringles! Pringles are most definitely a shared item in this household."

"Yes but Merlin, you've barely eaten anything in the past month."

"And I didn't eat any pringles today,"

"Well someone did," he said grumpily, inspecting the tube and finding it to be half empty. "Who took you to the hospital?"

"Arthur," Gwaine shot him a look.

"No one else was free, and I talked to him about the other night and everything's fine."

"I didn't know everything wasn't fine. I just don't like that he eats me food,"  
Merlin threw a cushion at him.

"The whole world doesn't revolve around your stomach you know,"

"You tell my stomach that,"

•••

Merlin did not want to wake up in the morning. Gwaine came in before he left for work to put a cup of coffee beside him but he pretended to be asleep so that he didn't have to talk to him.

This is the last day I'm going to mope about this, he thought. I'm going to move on, get on with my life. He hadn't been to work in a month and his clients, though understanding, were getting touchy.

Then he remembered that he asked Arthur to come over.

That was another thing he was going to sort out. Merlin hadn't been in a proper relationship for years and this was something he wanted desperately to change. Arthur was the perfect way to do this, if he liked Merlin as much as he thought he did.

The doorbell rang as Merlin swung his legs over the side of the bed so he picked up the mug of now lukewarm coffee and hopped downstairs, not bothering with his crutches.

Arthur stood in the doorway wearing navy sweatpants and a bright pink fitted t-shirt. His feet were enclosed in grey slippers with bunny ears and he hadn't bothered to shave. Despite the fact that today was a day for sadness; he could not help thinking how downright delicious Arthur looked.

"I didn't think you'd feel like changing out of your pyjamas, so I didn't either," It didn't pass Merlin by that Arthur had previously told him he didn't wear anything in bed, but he didn't mention it, Arthur was clearly trying to make him feel more comfortable, just in a very strange way.

Arthur walked into the house and Merlin noticed the two plastic bags at Arthur's feet. By the looks of it, one contained crisps and a microwaveable lasagne, as well as a few DVDs and the other had clothes and a normal pair of shoes.

They went into the kitchen where Merlin poured himself a fresh cup of coffee as well as offering one to Arthur, who accepted.

"How are you feeling?" Arthur asked when Merlin finished his second mug.

"I don't know. I feel like there's something missing, but it isn't that important. Not like the all consuming emptiness I felt after it happened. I know that it is important, obviously, he was my best friend, but I feel like I can move on sooner than I thought I could."

"Do you want to talk about him?"

"I think I would."

Merlin and Arthur spent all morning talking about Will. Merlin told him about the time he set his girlfriend's hair on fire with a lighter and the time he got chased through a field by an angry bull. He told him about the time they didn't speak for 2 weeks when they were 12 because Will broke Merlin's brand new GameBoy and how at the time they were the worst 2 weeks of his life. He told him about the first time he kissed Will, when they were 15 and Merlin was not in school because he was ill. Will had come straight from school to check he was OK and had spent all evening with him watching TV on the sofa, and stayed with him until his mum was almost home from work. That was when Will had leant over the back of the sofa and pressed a kiss softer than any Merlin had had since to his lips.

Arthur listened to all of his stories with intent, laughing when appropriate and offering consolation when needed.

Merlin and Arthur were sat at opposite ends of the sofa, facing each other with their legs crossed and head leant on arms. When Merlin couldn't hold it in any longer after the story about leaving Will and coming to live in London, Arthur scooted into the middle and put Merlin's head in his lap. He gently ran his fingers through his hair while he felt Merlin's body move with his sobs.

"The best memory I have of him is from the summer before uni, before my mum got ill," Merlin said brokenly, still with tears rolling down his face and onto Arthur's legs. "We drove to Brighton in my mum's car and spent the day on the beach. The sun was out and we both got burned to a crisp, and we drank too much cheap beer and ate too many chips, and it was perfect. I think we kissed a few times, impromptu and full of sand but I didn't care because it was all so perfect. We played in the sea like little kids and built sand sculptures. Will built a massive dick and I built a pair of lips right next to it. Then the school kids came and we had to scatter them, and it felt like we were scattering the remnants of our lives in Ealdor. By the time we thought about coming home it was almost dark and we were both over the limit, so we found a cheap B&B and got one room. That was the first time I had sex. We both felt terrible about it in the morning but at the time it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for us. Will was perfect - it was perfect. I woke up the next morning wrapped in Will's arms, tangled in the sheets with the sound of the sea in my ears, and I have never been happier in my whole life than I was in that moment. Then we came home and realised we could never be like that, being in a relationship would have ruined our friendship and that was too precious to both of us to lose." Merlin paused to collect his thoughts. "I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I had never met Will, but I don't think it would have been a life worth living."

Arthur had tears in his eyes and his voice caught when he spoke.

"I've never had anyone like that in my life," he said. "You were so lucky to be able to spend your whole childhood with such an amazing person, Merlin,"

Merlin simply replied, "I know,"

Arthur heard Merlin's breath come more deeply and felt him relax against him and realised he had fallen asleep. They were watching Pride and Prejudice, Will's guilty pleasure movie, and Merlin was leant against Arthur's side with Arthur's arm wrapped around him.

Arthur's fingers traced the line of his ribs softly and his leg bobbed up and down every so often with nerves.

Merlin was not someone who should have to go through this, he thought. He was too young and too fragile, physically and emotionally. The bad stuff always happens to the good ones.

Will and Merlin had shared something that Arthur had only ever dreamed of having. He'd never been close to his father and his chosen sexuality and hobby made him the laughing stock of his all boys grammar school in the country side. Uther did not believe in paying for an education, no matter how good, but Arthur often wondered about how many other boys would have been itching to experiment with each other at a private boarding school and if he would have waited so long to turn his back on Uther as he did. As it was, he had been desperate to be as normal as possible and to please Uther and so had gone along with his plans purely for the sake of keeping his father happy.

He became aware of a ringing sound coming from upstairs. It stopped for a moment and then began again. It rang out a few more times but someone was trying really hard to get in touch with Merlin so he slipped off the couch, laying Merlin's head on a pillow and went to answer the phone. He found it looking rather worse for wear, with a smashed screen but managed to make out 'Gwaine' which was displayed on the caller I.D.

"Hello," Arthur said.

"Merlin?"

"No it's Arthur." he could almost hear the confusion emanating from Gwaine.

"Oh, erm, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, shouldn't it be?"

"Well he isn't answering his phone,"

"Oh yeah, he's asleep on the sofa. Did you need something?"

"Not in particular," Gwaine said. "I was only going to check how he is but when he didn't answer I got a bit worried,"

"So you rung 20 more times? Don't you guys have a house phone that he's more likely to answer?" The logic was so obvious that Arthur was astounded it had passed Gwaine.

"Yeah I suppose we do," he obviously felt as stupid as Arthur thought him. "So Merlin's alright then? You know what day it is today don't you?"

"I don't really know how he is, he's been talking about Will all morning and he was pretty upset but he seemed a bit better before he fell asleep."

"OK, wake him up and make him eat something, yeah?"

"I'll try," Arthur really had no intentions of making Merlin wake up but it would keep Gwaine happy. He still wasn't sure where they stood on the friendship front. "Gwaine?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry about the lasagne; I bought you some more to make up for it,"

"Well you know what they say," Gwaine said, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," they both laughed. "You didn't have to, thanks Arthur. And thanks for being there for Merlin, you've been great," Arthur thought that Gwaine sounded as if he regretted not being a better friend, but said goodbye amicably anyway.

"Talking about me?" Merlin said, half sat up, as Arthur descended the stairs.

"It was Gwaine checking up on you," Arthur said, sitting back on the sofa under Merlin's elevated head and letting it fall so that Merlin was looking up at Arthur.

"Hmm." Merlin was still sleepy but his stomach rumbled, reminding Arthur of Gwaine's request.

"Food?" Arthur asked.

"Not that hungry," his stomach rumbled again.

"Your belly tells me otherwise. Up," Merlin sat up and let Arthur pull him up of the sofa. "What do you fancy?"

"Ice cream," Merlin said honestly.

"That's not proper food," Arthur told him.

"You dancy types are so obsessed with eating properly, aren't you?"

"Well I'd rather stay fit and not get kicked out for getting podgy," he said. I'd rather you stayed fit too, Merlin thought, but didn't say it. "I'd also rather not collapse on stage in the middle of a performance because I've not eaten properly, so it's better for everyone if I do really,"

"I still want ice cream though," Merlin said. Arthur laughed at him.

"Fine, Merlin the 5 year old, have some ice cream,"

"I love how you think you can dictate what I eat, Pendragon. We are in my house you know." Arthur seemed to contemplate this as if it wasn't something he'd thought about.

Merlin ate his ice cream from the tub as Arthur made a sandwich almost identical to the ones he made yesterday.

"I want to go and say goodbye properly," Merlin said.

"Huh?" Arthur said through a mouthful of bread and veg.

"Will. I didn't say goodbye properly at the funeral. There were too many people and I was too sad. I want to go visit the grave so I can start to move on properly."

"When do you want to go?" Arthur asked after swallowing what he was eating.

"Today, if you don't mind driving me?"

"You want me to go with you?" Arthur asked, surprised.

"If you don't mind?"

"Of course not. We'll go this afternoon."

"You don't mind going in your pyjamas do you? I could probably find you something to wear if you like?"

"I was kind of hoping I might get you to leave the house actually, so I brought some of my own."

Arthur finished eating his sandwich while Merlin continued taking tiny bites of ice cream.

"Can I borrow your bathroom?" Arthur asked. Merlin looked confused. "To get changed?" Arthur pointed to his clothes.

"Oh yeah, go for it, I guess I should get dressed too,"

Arthur followed Merlin up the stairs and Merlin showed him the bathroom. He had some skinny jeans and a clean t-shirt and jumper to change into, as well as underwear and socks. He emerged at the same time as Merlin, who was wearing a pair of dark brown trousers, a tight blue t-shirt and a bright red cardigan. If Arthur didn't find it incredibly attractive, he'd think the combination was ridiculous.

•••

Merlin got back into the car bleary eyed after almost half an hour by Will's grave. It had taken them around 3 hours to get to Ealdor, where Will had been buried, and Merlin had spent the journey telling Arthur more stories about his past. On the way back, he let Arthur talk, wanting his goodbye to last as long in his memory as it could.

Every so often, Arthur rested his hand on Merlin's knee, a presence that Merlin was happy to have. When they got back to the city, now late at night, Merlin asked Arthur to stay and he obliged. They both changed back into what they had been wearing before and there was no hesitation before they sat right next to each other on the sofa and wrapped their arms around each other, watching one of the films Arthur had brought with him. They got to almost half way before Merlin stated that he was too tired, so Arthur turned off the TV and was led upstairs by the hand. Merlin fell into the bed as Arthur turned off various electrical appliances and then followed him, climbing in to face Merlin.

They both propped their heads up against their arms and simply looked at each other for a while.

"Will you have to leave in the morning," Merlin asked, the hint that he would need Arthur not escaping him.

"I have training from 7 'till 12 but I'm going to call in sick," he said. "I'm not going to leave you," Merlin curled into Arthur's body, whose arms wrapped around his tiny frame and they both began to drift off to sleep.

In that moment, Merlin was terrified. He knew that he and Arthur had fallen into each other's lives incredibly quickly, but in a way that was almost too perfect.

Merlin was afraid that he was falling in love.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin was acutely aware of an overwhelming sense of happiness that filled him when he woke.

He was also aware of a desperate need to pee.

He tried to carefully pull himself out of Arthur's arms but a semi-conscious Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin.

"Arthur," he whispered. He heard a sound of acknowledgement from behind him. "I really need to go to the toilet," Arthur's grip loosened as he giggled slightly and Merlin slipped off the bed.

When he returned, Arthur was wide awake.

"Please get back in bed," he said.

"Well I was actually planning on going for a run -" he replied sarcastically, climbing back in and resting his head against Arthur's chest. Arthur held him close and planted a light kiss on his forehead.

"So what are we doing today?" Arthur asked.

Merlin wanted to do something normal, like go for lunch or a walk in the park.

"I'm not doing anything before coffee," he said instead.

"Well if it came down to a choice between getting up to get coffee or staying here in bed all day, I know which I'd choose," Arthur replied.

Merlin looked at the time and saw that it was still quite early so snuggled further into Arthur's chest.

"Maybe a little while longer then," he said softly, allowing his eyes to fall shut and for his breathing to slow down until it matched that of the figure that lay beneath him.

•••

When Merlin woke again he was very cold. Arthur was gone but he could hear laughing coming from downstairs. He hobbled out of his room and down the stairs and found Arthur, Gwaine and Leon sat around in the kitchen drinking coffee.

Arthur turned and saw him and smiled a smile that took over his whole face.

"So what's your story for why this one's here this morning then?" Gwaine asked Merlin as Arthur handed a cup of coffee, his fingers brushing against Merlin and causing a spark of desire to travel through him. As much as he hated to admit it, Merlin had always been particularly horny in the mornings.

"He stayed over, if that's OK with you, father. Hi Leon, how are you?" Merlin asked, changing the subject.

"I'm alright thanks, miss Morgana heaps though," he replied.

"When's she getting back?" Arthur asked.

"Tomorrow evening, why?"

"So that I can prepare myself for the guilt tripping about not being there for Uther that I'm sure to receive," Merlin laughed and Arthur shot him a look to say that this was not funny.

"You'll be fine," Leon told him. "Just don't answer her calls. Or texts. Or the door when she resorts to that," Arthur did not look amused.

"We should be getting going," Gwaine said to Leon. "Merlin, when was the last time you showered, mate?" Merlin threw the little remote for the radio at him. It was completely ineffective but was the closest thing to him which would not cause Gwaine any damage.

"Didn't mean it as an insult, just that you smell and should wash," Gwaine got three pairs of eyes glaring at him. "Whatever, see you later," he said as he grabbed his keys and Leon's arm and walked out of the kitchen, Leon waving at an awkward angle.

Arthur stepped behind Merlin and wrapped his arms tight around him. Merlin sank into the embrace and turned his face towards Arthur, which caused him to kiss Merlin's cheek, ever so softly. "Morning," Arthur said.

"Mmm," Merlin replied, his bliss causing him to lose all forms of coherence. He turned to face Arthur and kissed his lips with enough force to tell Arthur that he'd be quite content doing this all day.

"I like you in the mornings," Arthur joked, pulling Merlin by the hand into the living room where they both fell onto the sofa. Merlin leant against Arthur's side and threw his arm around his chest. Arthur was closest to the remote and so turned on the TV and started flicking through the channels.

Merlin stared at Arthur's neck and found himself drawn to the perfectly defined jaw bone which was connected to his lean, long neck which led to his equally defined collar bones. Merlin leant up and began placing light kisses along the path, lingering when he got to the collar bone and sucking gently. He received an almost inaudible moan from Arthur whose eyes had flitted shut and who had extended his neck even further. Merlin repeated the kisses going upwards and kissed behind Arthur's ear before making his way along the hollow beneath Arthur's cheekbones to his mouth. Arthur captured Merlin's lips in a firm kiss and took his bottom lip between his teeth. Merlin ran his tongue slowly along Arthur's upper lip and felt Arthur do the same to his lower one. Arthur released his teeth and they both slipped their tongues into each other's mouths, at first seeking to explore all the nooks and crannies of one another's mouths, then more slowly, as if by routine. Merlin pulled away to breathe and rested his forehead against Arthur's.

"Do you need to ring work?" Merlin asked quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Did it this morning before you came downstairs. What do you want to do today, or do I already know the answer," Merlin laughed and placed a lazy kiss on Arthur's lips.

"Do you fancy going to the cinema?" Merlin asked.

"Sure," he said grinning. "And for the record, I love how you smell right now, Gwaine was winding you up," This time Arthur kissed Merlin's cheek.

"Well never the less, personal hygiene is rather important, especially when one is leaving the house. I'll be out in 10 minutes," he said, removing himself slowly from Arthur's arms and bounding upstairs.

•••

Merlin came back downstairs with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, his hair wet and his skin gleaming with the water he had yet to dry off. "I should have asked before, do you want a shower?" he asked, not realising the effect he was having on Arthur.

"Yeah, that'd be great thanks." Arthur had already been out to his car to grab his overnight bag and so would be able to use his own toiletries and change into clean clothes. Merlin showed him where the clean towels were and then Arthur turned on the shower, undressed, and climbed under the jet of steaming hot water.

His mind began to wander and Arthur soon realised that less than 10 minutes ago Merlin had been stood in this very spot, naked.

The hard on that had been beginning to develop when they had been making out on the sofa was now back in full force and Arthur could not bear to let it go unnoticed once more. He wrapped his hand around his erection and swiftly brought himself off. Afterwards, he felt incredibly guilty and scrubbed his hand until it was raw, as if Merlin would be able to tell what he'd been doing.

He exited the bathroom once he was clean and dressed and knocked on Merlin's closed bedroom door. "I'm ready if you are?" he said.

"Come in here a minute will you?" came Merlin's voice. He opened the door and found Merlin sat topless on the bed, once more struggling to fit his potted foot into the leg of his jeans.

"As much as I wouldn't be one to object to you leaving the house like that, I'm not sure the people at the cinema would appreciate it,"

"Shut up and help me get dressed or we'll miss the film,"

Arthur did as Merlin asked before realising that they hadn't even agreed on a film. "I didn't realise we were on a schedule?"

"The Hunger Games, 11:30, Screen 4," Merlin recited. "I just looked to see what was on and that was the only decent thing, hope you don't mind?"

"No, I've been meaning to go see it actually, it looks great. Good choice," Merlin was into his jeans by this point and picked up a striped blue shirt from the bed, pulled it on and then pulled a grey, v-neck jumper on over the top, rolling the sleeves on both items up. Arthur passed Merlin his crutches which he hadn't been using around the house from where they lay on the floor and then followed behind him back downstairs. Merlin took a thin leather jacket from a cupboard and put it on before walking out of the house behind Arthur and locking the door.

Today was going to be a good day.

•••

Being on crutches meant Merlin got to skip the queue which had formed at the ticket desk and was given VIP seating for free. He had been hoping for back row seats, but he was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Do you want popcorn?" Arthur asked.

"No thanks," he replied. Despite the fact he hadn't had any breakfast, Merlin was not hungry, and knew he wouldn't be for another few hours. "Can I have a water though?"

"Sure. A medium popcorn and 2 large waters please," he said to the teenager behind the counter. They received their refreshments and Arthur glared at the teen. "I don't know if it's escaped your notice, but neither my friend nor I have 3 hands. He can hardly carry any of this, can he? How hard would it have been for you to put the cups in one of those cup holders which are right behind you so that I can carry it all without having to perform some ridiculous balancing act?" The teen flushed with embarrassment and put the drinks into a cup holder while Merlin stared at Arthur in awe. As they walked away Merlin said to Arthur, "You could have just asked nicely, you know?"

"I could, but stupid people annoy me," Merlin laughed.

The cinema was empty when they entered, but they were there quite early and it could still fill up yet. They sat down in their allocated seats and Arthur automatically took off his shoes and curled his legs up under him. He passed one of the cups to Merlin and then put his popcorn in his lap and made a start on it.

"Are you going to save any of that for the film?" Merlin said to him.

"Maybe," he replied, his mouth full.

"Pig," Merlin mumbled. The sight of Arthur's bulging cheeks and lean neck made Merlin very hot and he took a sip of his drink, thankful he'd asked for ice, hoping it would cool him down before Arthur noticed the colour he had turned.

Unfortunately, he already had. "Take your jacket off if you're hot," Arthur said, assuming it was to do with the number of layers Merlin had on. Merlin took off his jacket and handed it to Arthur to put with his on the seat next to him.

As the lights dimmed and the adverts began to play, Merlin subconsciously shifted closer towards Arthur, who did the same thing. As the movie progressed, Merlin found that he was almost resting on Arthur, and so tried to sit up a bit more. Arthur moved the arm rest separating then and threw his arm around Merlin's shoulders, pulling him into his side. Merlin cried when Rue died and Arthur brushed the tears from his cheek and when Merlin jumped out of his seat when the first Mutt appeared Arthur could not contain his laughter. Merlin shot him evils but it was too dark for Arthur to see, and when he laid back into Arthur's arms, he was still shaking slightly. Arthur tried to soothe him by running his hand up and down Merlin's arm, but this just made Merlin feel even more on edge.

He then realised that they had wasted the gift of being the only 2 people in the cinema. Wanting to make Arthur aware of this, Merlin reached into the popcorn bucket and reached down to the bottom, pushing it into Arthur's lap. He then took a small handful and held up a piece to Arthur's lips. "Want it?" he whispered.

Arthur tried to take it from him in response but Merlin quickly put it in his own mouth. Now that he had Arthur's attention, he ate another piece of the popcorn, this time more slowly and sucking on the tips of his fingers slightly. Arthur took the next piece from Merlin's hand and fed it to him, allowing him to nibble softly on the end of his fingers. Arthur leant down and pressed his lips to Merlin's and they kissed until the lights came back on, signaling they had missed the end of the film.

Merlin's forehead fell against Arthur's. "I'm impressed we lasted that long," Arthur said.

"Hmm," Merlin mumbled in reply, seeking Arthur's lips out again. They kissed messily until the end of the ridiculously long credits and then made their way out of the cinema. Arthur desperately wanted to take hold of Merlin's hand, but he was using both of them for his crutches.

"Do you want to do anything else?" Arthur asked.

"I could do with picking up a few things from around town seeing as we're here, if you don't mind?"

"As long as we can go for a drink afterwards?"

"Sounds good to me,"

Once Merlin was done picking up new toiletries and browsing the new Topman collection, they went back to the car and Merlin directed Arthur to his local pub. When they got there, Merlin noticed Lance's car in the car park and was torn between sticking with the plan and bolting. He decided he might as well stay, seeing as he had had such a nice afternoon already and nothing was likely to spoil it. This time, Merlin left his crutches in the car and Arthur wrapped his arm around his waist to support him.

The second he was through the door, Gwen was stood up waving him over and shouting his name. He slid into the booth she was at alongside Lance, Gwaine and Leon and moved around so that Arthur could sit next to him. It was a tight squeeze, but Merlin was not complaining at the proximity of Arthur's body to his own.

"I didn't see your car outside Leon?" Arthur said.

"Then let me remind you of the conversation we had not 12 hours ago about the courtesy car I have while mine is in the garage," recognition spread across Arthur's face and everyone laughed.

"Merlin, we've been ringing you for the past half hour and you didn't pick up, we didn't think you'd show up," Lance said.

"We were in the cinema and my phone's still off, sorry. We didn't know you'd be here either, but Arthur said he'd only shop with me if we went for alcohol afterwards,"

"That is not true!" Arthur splurted out.

The next hour was the most normal Merlin had felt in a long time. He was able to relax and forget about the nightmare month he'd had and enjoyed spending time with his friends, old and new. Merlin saw Arthur stop himself from putting his arm around Merlin a few times, not sure how the others would react or if Merlin would be comfortable with it, so Merlin took his hand under the table and squeezed it to show Arthur he was fine with it. Instead of putting his arm over the back of the seat, he wrapped it around Merlin's waist once more to be less obvious and Merlin shifted so that his head was almost resting on Arthur's shoulder. Merlin saw Gwen smile out of the corner of his eye and then allowed himself to rest his eyes. He wasn't used to being out of the house for this long or being sociable and felt very tired. It didn't help that all he'd eaten all day was the popcorn, and at the thought of food, his stomach grumbled loudly.

"Anyone'd think you were about 80, Merlin," Gwaine teased. Merlin opened up his eyes far enough to give Gwaine the evils.

"Maybe I should take you home?" Arthur said into Merlin's hair.

"Food first," he replied.

"We can stop at the chippy on the way back?" Arthur offered.

"It's only about 3 isn't it? It'll still be closed; can we just get some sandwiches from here?"

"If you want. Does anyone else want anything to eat?" Arthur asked the group. It turned out they all did. Merlin sat up to let Arthur go to the bar and Leon followed him to order another round of soft drinks. The sandwiches came shortly after and Merlin reluctantly swapped places with Lance so that he could share his sandwich with Gwen. Gwaine left when he'd finished to walk to Elena's house which was just round the corner and told Merlin that he wouldn't be home until the morning.

"This is the second time I've been out with Gwaine and he's left to go see his girlfriend, why doesn't she just come out with you?" Arthur asked. Gwen instantly looked angry.

"It's probably not best to mention Elena around Gwen," Merlin told him quietly. "They don't get along. At all,"

Merlin was ready to fall asleep by this point and so they all said goodbye and left the pub. Arthur helped Merlin into the car and asked him for quick directions back to Merlin's house, not trusting him to still be awake when he needed him to be.

As Arthur predicted, Merlin was asleep by the time the engine was running and so Arthur drove back in silence.

Merlin had changed him so much. Arthur now cared deeply for someone who was not himself and found himself smiling from ear to ear as he glanced at Merlin's sleeping frame. He jumped in his sleep and Arthur reached over to touch his cheek in an effort to calm him down. It seemed to work and Merlin relaxed.

Arthur barely had time to come back to his senses when the car crashed into them from behind.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If smut isn't to your liking I would advise you skip the end of this chapter!

Merlin jolted as awake as he felt himself thrown forward. His neck hurt instantly, a result of the funny angle he'd been sat in but other than that he felt fine.

"Arthur?" he said.

"Are you OK?" he said.

"I'm fine, are you?"

"I think so, can you get out?"

"Not sure, foot remember. And my neck hurts,"

"OK, I'll come help,"

Arthur opened his door and climbed out of the car. On his way to Merlin's side, he assessed the damage and found that it was mostly confined to the back.

He had been driving down a winding country lane at a leisurely pace and the other driver had come speeding round a corner and crashed into him, sending them both into a bush. Luckily, another driver had come round right after that and had already called the ambulance.

Good, he thought. The other driver looked like he'd need it.

He opened Merlin's door and helped him out, putting his arm around his waist and pulling Merlin's arm around his own shoulders. They hobbled onto an area of grass and sat down, waiting, still with their arms around each other.

The ambulance arrived and helped the other driver first. He was unconscious and had scarlet red blood pouring down his face. Another paramedic assessed Merlin and Arthur, telling Merlin he would need to get his neck seen to and Arthur that the twinge in his arm was probably worse than he thought.

Arthur was reluctant about leaving his car but was told it would need to be towed and that he'd be better leaving it to someone else, so allowed himself to be carted away in the ambulance.

Gwaine picked them up from the hospital in Elena's car and drove them back to the house. Arthur rung Morgana to tell her what had happened and also rang his boss, who was not too impressed that he'd been out driving when he was allegedly ill and had got into an accident. He had actually pulled most of the muscles in his right arm and had sprained his wrist and so was likely to be out of training for a month or so and would miss the opening week of the show. Merlin felt terrible that he'd caused that to happen.

"I'm so sorry Arthur," he said as they sat down on the sofa and Gwaine went into the kitchen to make tea.

"What for?" he asked.

"For making you hurt your arm and for making your boss mad at you," Arthur looked at Merlin almost amusedly.

"Don't be ridiculous Merlin!" he said, taking one of Merlin's hands in his own uninjured one. "None of that is your fault, so don't think for a second that I blame you for this," Merlin nodded but Arthur could see in his eyes that it was not going to be as simple as that. He had lost Will in a car accident and had been in another with Arthur where they were lucky to come off well. Despite this, Merlin was unlikely to see that it was no ones fault, much less his own any time soon.

Over the next few weeks, it was clear to Arthur that Merlin was never going to forgive himself. They had gone to see the show on the opening night and it had gone disastrously. The stand in lead barely knew the steps and dropped his partner multiple times. To make things worse, the lighting was off and the curtain broke at the end, and even though this had nothing to do with Merlin, he left the performance apologising profusely and not stopping until Arthur had kissed him, firm and silencing, on the lips.

Merlin's cast was now off but he still walked with a bit of limp and his neck occasionally twinged with the memory of the accident. Arthur's arm mostly fine and he was back in training all the time. They usually spent the evenings together, sometimes at Merlin's house, sometimes at Arthur's and sometimes in the local pub.

They had come back to Merlin's one Friday night to find something neither of them expected. Gwaine was sat in the kitchen drinking coffee with Percy who, despite Elena also being sat in the living room on her laptop, was being particularly touchy feely with Gwaine. They'd gone straight upstairs almost straight away to avoid them and settled down on the bed to pick up on the Harry Potter marathon they'd started a few night ago. For once, it was Arthur who fell asleep first and Merlin lost concentration in the film to stare at Arthur's face. He desperately wanted to say 'his boyfriend's face,' but despite the month or more they'd been seeing each other, he didn't know if that was what they were. Merlin had never been one to be pernickety over titles, and he liked to think he wasn't being in this situation, but he somehow wanted to be sure that Arthur was all his.

Merlin heard the door shut downstairs and jumped off the bed, feeling his neck twinge in annoyance, to peer out of the window to see who had left and found that they all had. Arthur awoke after feeling his body fall without Merlin's to prop it up and smiled.

"What the hell was Percy doing here?" Merlin asked, getting back in the bed and resting his cheek on Arthur's chest.

"Who knows," Arthur replied, placing a kiss on the top of Merlin's head. "You hungry?" he asked.

"A little bit," Merlin admitted. "I think there's still some pasta left from the other night, we could have that?"

"Sounds great,"

They went downstairs and Arthur heated up the chicken pasta bake they'd had a few nights ago. Merlin enjoyed the routine they had settled into, seeing each other almost every day, eating together and being able to take care of the other after the car accident. Arthur's car had managed to be repaired and neither of them had been badly hurt, but it still conjured images of the first time they met, when Merlin had been at the hospital facing much bleaker prospects.

"Are you OK?" Arthur asked, seeing Merlin staring pensive at his food

"Just thinking," he replied, looking up and smiling, not quite managing to convince Arthur of his authenticity. Arthur put down his fork and looked Merlin in the eye.

"About what?"

"Will," Merlin admitted.

"Good stuff or bad stuff?" Arthur pressed.

Merlin thought about it. "Just Will," he smiled another smile, this time letting his sadness show through and saw that Arthur felt sad too.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, suddenly remembering the conversation he'd had on the phone with Gwen on the phone earlier. Arthur looked up, attentive at Merlin's uncharacteristic outburst. "Gwen's having a surprise birthday party for Lance tomorrow evening. She asked if I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come?"

"Well are you going to?" he said, leaving Merlin confused.

"Am I going to what?"

"Ask me if I want to come?" Merlin laughed.

"Do you want to come to Lance's surprise birthday party?" he asked.

"No." Merlin could not hide his dismay. At Merlin's expression, Arthur laughed and told him, "Of course I want to come, silly!"

Merlin grinned. "Oh! I thought you were being serious! Well I have to keep him company all morning and then go back home with him in the evening. He thinks Gwen has to work and that we're just having dinner at their place. You can just go straight there if you like, or come out with us in the afternoon after you've finished work?"

"Who else is going?" he asked.

"Just our friends really, Gwaine, some people from the football and from his work, Leon and Morgana might be there too,"

"I could come over in the afternoon and then leave to go over there just before you do?"

"Sounds good, you can say you're meeting Morgana for a meal or something?"

"Well I'm glad I'll only have to pretend to, Morgana is not the person you want to go for a meal with, let me tell you that," They both laughed and as Merlin threw his head back, he hurt his neck again.

"Still sore?" Arthur said. Merlin nodded an grimaced at the pain. Arthur got up from his stool and crossed around so that he was stood behind Merlin.

Ever so carefully, Arthur placed his thumbs at the nape of Merlin's neck and began to apply pressure. He moved his thumbs in small circles and slipped down his shoulder blades and Merlin felt the pain seeping away. He carefully moved up the neck and Merlin hummed in appreciation.

"Why didn't you tell me you could do this before?" He asked.

"Never came up, does it not hurt too much?" As Arthur said this his thumb found a tense spot and rubbed insistently to relieve the pressure built up there.

He moaned again and told Arthur it didn't hurt one bit.

Merlin felt Arthur's breath against his neck, warm and moist, before he heard him speak. When he did his voice was the perfect mix of husk and silk, a delight for Merlin's ears.

"That noise is so hot," he said quietly and seductively. Arthur's roaming hands worked down Merlin's spine to the small of his back where they rested as Arthur placed a tiny kiss at the base of Merlin's ear. He moaned again, this time with desire rather than thanks.

Being sat on a stool at the island, Merlin was able to spin around and threw his arms around Arthur's neck, tangling his hand in the blonde hair and pulling Arthur's lips onto his own.

They kissed almost frantically, hands eager and tongues wanting more. Merlin shook his thin hoody off and stood up to push his body into Arthur's as much as he could without making them both fall over. Arthur's hands now held Merlin's face and as he walked backwards, trying to find the sofa blindly, he let go momentarily to pull his t-shirt over his head. As it fell to the floor, Merlin stopped Arthur from leaning against the back of the sofa and instead indicated towards the stairs. Arthur complied without a second thought and they were then trying to manoeuvre the stairs, neither wanting to break contact with the others lips and skin. 

As they reached the landing they stopped against the banister to allow Merlin's hands to explore Arthur's muscles, as if for the first time. Arthur kissed down Merlin' jaw to his Adams apple as Merlin relished in the moment. They moved from the landing to Merlin's room and instantly fell to the bed, Arthur above Merlin and nudging the hem of his shirt. Merlin pulled up his body and Arthur took of the shirt, throwing it to the floor. They kissed passionately and rolled around on the bed until Merlin's hands kept dipping under the waistband of Arthur's sweatpants and they were forced to let go of each other to get them off. Arthur kicked his own bottoms off before slowly skimming his fingertips over Merlin's skin and inching his bottoms over his hips and down his legs. Merlin let him take his time as he was also kissing Merlin's legs on the way down. He shimmied out of the bottoms and Arthur slowly came back up, paying attention at first to his feet and then eventually, after the slow and tantalising ascension, to the area of his inner thigh closest to his raging erection.

Merlin's hand wrapped around Arthur neck and pulled him up to kiss him once more as he gently and subtly ground against Arthur's thigh which he had positioned between Merlin's two legs.

"I can feel you doing that, you know," Arthur whispered hoarsely in Merlin's ear.

"Good," he responded, and pushed with increased speed and force.

"I think you'd achieve your aim a lot quicker if you were me to allow me to help," Arthur said suggestively.

Merlin halted as Arthur's hands flew to his hips and pushed his tight black boxers down to his ankles. He slipped his hand round to Merlin's front and leant down so that he was lay on top of Merlin's chest and captured his lips in a slow kiss as he gently formed a ring with fingers around Merlin's penis and worked his way up and down the shaft. It was by no means the best hand job he'd ever given, nor probably the best Merlin had received but it had Merlin squirming beneath him. They kissed, fondled, nibbled and traced their ways around each other's bodies until Merlin managed to flip Arthur to his back and pretended to pin his arms down. He looked into Arthur's eyes and grinned before kissing his way down his chest and placing his mouth on the tight black fabric of Arthur's boxers. His eyes rolled back slightly and his own hands went to his hips to pull the barrier between him and Merlin's lips away. Teasingly, Merlin pushed himself back up to Arthur's face and explored it with his lips.

"Merlin," Arthur moaned, desperate for him to finish what he'd started.

"Yes?" He asked, sucking on Arthur's ear lobe, knowing he was sending him crazy.

"Mouth," he choked out. Merlin enclosed Arthur's lips in a sloppy kiss, making it enjoyable but still leaving him desperate for more.

"On my cock!" Arthur growled.

"Getting a bit aggressive are we?" he joked, sliding back down the bed and taking Arthur into his mouth. He worked slowly, licking and sucking Arthur into a frenzy before he pulled away, too early for Arthur's liking, and lay beside Arthur's sweaty frame on the bed. They turned to face each other and kissed once more before Merlin placed his lips on Arthur's ears and said in an almost inaudible whisper, "I want you inside me,"

Arthur didn't pause to ask if Merlin was sure, fearing that if he did, Merlin would change his mind. He flipped Merlin onto his back and ran his lips from the nape of Merlin's neck to the small of his back, one hand on his waist, the other cupping his buttocks.

"Condom?" he asked softly.

"Bottom draw," was the reply, Merlin's voice thick with desire. Arthur reached over the bed into the bedside cabinet and pulled out a condom as well as what he hoped was lube. Merlin sat up and took the condom packet from Arthur, opening it himself and sensuously rolling it onto Arthur's length. At the same time, Arthur was drawn to Merlin's neck and found himself sucking lightly on the pulse point, not quite hard enough to leave a mark.

Merlin lay back down, this time on his back looking up at Arthur and allowed himself to be breached by Arthur's freshly lubed up finger. He inserted one at first, making sure Merlin was comfortable before progressing. Once Merlin had been stretched by three fingers, Arthur withdrew and kissed Merlin again, his breath heavy and his hands roaming. Merlin felt empty at the sudden absence and placed an arm around Arthur's waist to pull him closer, a hint which Arthur picked up on. Being as careful as he could be, he slid the tip into Merlin, causing a sharp intake from both sides. Merlin nodded to say that he wanted more and Arthur continued his descent into Merlin, the stretch painful at first before turning to a pleasurable sensation. Once he was all the way in, Arthur stopped for a moment to let Merlin adjust, who wiggled his hips experimentally, causing Arthur to accidentally find his prostate. When it was brushed, Merlin felt a pleasure so intense that he almost cried out. When Arthur moved to pull out, scared he had hurt Merlin, Merlin pulled him back down into a crushing kiss, his tongue working its way around Arthur's in ways he didn't know he was capable of. Arthur pushed back in and found the spot straight away making Merlin gasp into his mouth. Hands tangled in hair and limbs entwined, they picked up the pace until Merlin fell over the edge, Arthur's name on his lips with Arthur following him. They collapsed into each other's arms, sweaty, sore and smelling of sex and Merlin leant over lazily to kiss Arthur's cheek, his lips lingering on the soft skin which stretched over the defined cheek bone before they fell asleep without words in the dim light.


	8. Chapter 8

Gwaine stormed into Merlin's room early the next morning and saw the naked bodies of his house mate and his boyfriend, that's what Gwaine assumed he was anyway, asleep in each other's arms on the bed, the duvet thrown haphazardly over their middle, thankfully covering what Gwaine did not need to see.

"Merlin have you seen -" Gwaine stopped when he realised what he was looking at.

Merlin awoke with a start and pulled the duvet up to his chest. Gwaine had seen him topless countless times before, but this felt different.

"I'll find it, never mind," Gwaine mumbled, backing out of the room.

Arthur woke up at having a duvet thrown over his face and sat up as the door closed. Merlin groaned and flopped back down, finding comfort in Arthur's warm embrace.

"I did not need for Gwaine to see that," he mumbled.

"Surely he's caught you in bed with someone before?" Arthur quizzed.

"Oh yeah, sometimes while we were still at it! It just feels different with you, like I don't want him to have reason to get at you,"

"Well I've seen that stuffed bunny he keeps in his room, I'm sure he'd be more embarrassed if I brought that up than I'd be if he told your friends he'd found us asleep in the morning in your bed,"

"Flopsy, when did you see that?" Merlin asked, grinning.

"The other day when you sent me looking for that Harry Potter DVD in his room. It's hard to miss, the thing's huge and he doesn't exactly try to hide it!" Merlin laughed.

"He loves that rabbit! Elena won it for him at a carnival or something and everyone already knows about it and teases him about it on a regular basis, but the sentiments there. I better go see what he wanted," Merlin said, his tone showing he didn't want to move from where he was right now for anything and as he sat up, Arthur wrapped his arms around his waist and brought him crashing back to the bed. "I'll be back in two minutes!" Merlin said, kissing Arthur, his promise on his lips.

"You'd better be," Arthur warned, relaxing his grip and admiring the view when Merlin stood up, his body still unclothed.

Merlin grabbed a pair of boxers from a draw and pulled them on underneath a pair of bottoms he picked up off the floor before leaning back over the bed to kiss Arthur again, this time more out of pure desire, the sight of him naked in his bed, skin glowing and hair mussed was simply too much. "Two minutes,"

Merlin bolted down the stairs with a grin on his face and was greeted by Gwaine's ridiculously big mouth. "Merlin, your bedroom stinks of sex!" Merlin heard who he presumed to be Leon in the living room choke on whatever he was drinking and felt his own face burn bright red.

"Thanks, Gwaine. What did you want?" Merlin asked, embarrassed.

"My football socks, have you seen them?"

"They're in your kit bag! The same place I put them every week after I end up washing them,"

"I wondered how they were getting there! Thanks mate,"

"Anything else?" Merlin asked, wanting nothing more than to get back upstairs.

"Gwen told me to tell you something about the party. Can't remember what though,"

"Well thanks for being so useless!"

"She said to tell you to get there at half 6, not half 7," Leon said, getting up from the sofa and coming into the kitchen.

"Thanks Leon, enjoy football guys," Merlin told them before bouncing back up the stairs and pushing the door to his room open. Arthur was not on the bed, not anywhere in the room, so Merlin looked into the bathroom where Arthur was leaning into the shower cubicle to turn on the water. He smiled at Merlin suggestively and stepped under the jet, already naked so not needing to stop to get undressed. Merlin however had to pull down the bottoms he had just put on before following Arthur and getting into the shower beside him, their eyes locking before they dived for each other's mouths, teeth knocking and water getting in the way. Their skin slippy, Merlin and Arthur's hands slipped over the other's skin and in an attempt to get a grip on something, their hands wound up in the hair of the other, able to tug and pull as they desired. Their chests touching and their legs intertwined, they both felt the other's hard on and hands flew from heads to cock, almost in a battle, both wanting to get their first.

Arthur got their first and enclosed his fist around them both, pumping harder than the night before, wrapping his free arm around Merlin's waist, afraid of him getting away. Merlin came undone first and buried his face in the crook of Arthur's neck to stifle his moans, his teeth grazing the skin before his lips formed first a kiss and then a suck, Merlin working his mouth in a way he was sure would leave a mark. Arthur spilled after that and his forehead fell onto Merlin's shoulder, his breath heavy and Arthur now a lot more awake than he had been 10 minutes ago.

Arthur reached his hand up to the sponge he saw on the shelf in the wall and brought it down onto Merlin's back, the water still in it from the last use cold and causing Merlin to lurch forward, further into Arthur. They both laughed and Arthur allowed the sponge to fill up with warm water before dragging it down the middle of Merlin's back slowly. Merlin stepped out of Arthur's arms and turned around so that Arthur could apply soap and continue washing. Merlin had a heart shaped birthmark on the small of his back which he felt Arthur bend down to kiss, his lips warm and soft. "They say birthmarks show how you were killed in a past life, you know," Arthur said, the sponge dropping to the floor and his arms wrapping back around Merlin who squirmed in his arms to turn round to face Arthur.

"I didn't, no. So I was stabbed in the back, that's pretty cool, huh?"

"I guess, but what could you have done to deserve being stabbed in the back?"

"All sorts of things! Coveted my best friends girlfriend - or betrothed or whatever they called it! That would have deserved a back stab. Or maybe I was just part of some battle and got caught by some douche. It's weird to think about our past lives, don't you think?"

"I suppose. Especially when you're in the shower and have just has a really hot hand job. You think about strange things, Merlin,"

"I suppose I do," he said, affectionately pressing his lips to Arthur's.

They finished showering and then climbed out of the shower and got dressed.

"What time are you coming over later?" Merlin asked before Arthur left.

"Probably around half 3, if that's ok? What time will I need to leave to get to Gwen's in time?"

"Around 6 I guess, but if you're coming here straight from training you'll need to get changed before the party - we'll suss it out later,"

Arthur and Merlin kissed and Merlin waved to him from the front door as he left.

•••

Merlin had just finished making lunch when the doorbell rang, signalling Lance's arrival. He'd made a platter of ham and cheese sandwiches with a salad and he didn't know about Lance but he intended on eating a tonne of them. Merlin was the biggest lightweight he knew and he hoped that having a full stomach would erase some of that slightly. He crossed to the door, pausing to tidy the hall a little before he let Lance in, grasping him in a hug and wishing him a Happy Birthday.

"Thanks Merlin, and thanks for keeping me company this afternoon, I can't believe Gwen had to go into work,"

"It's no problem, yeah it sucks," Merlin internally smiled. Who actually believes that their partner has to work on their birthday? "Food?" Merlin indicated the plates in the kitchen and Lance nodded. "Do you want a drink?" he asked.

"I'll have a tea if you're brewing up?" Lance said.

"Tea on your birthday? You can have a beer if you want!"

"I'm driving,"

"Bloody hell Lance, I'll drive! Have a drink!" Merlin wasn't sure why he was being so pushy, maybe because he felt guilty for lying to Lance, even though it wasn't a bad lie.

"Fine," he said, helping himself to one of Gwaine's from the fridge.

"Arthur's coming over later, if that's ok?" He told Lance.

"Sure, I've not really spent much time with him; it'll be good to get to know your new boyfriend,"

"Is that what you all think he is?" Merlin asked seriously despite Lance's serious tone.

"Isn't he?"

"To be honest, I don't know. We haven't really talked about it. We act like we're in a relationship but I don't know, and I don't really want to ask,"

"Why not?"

"I'm case that's not how he sees it and I ruin things,"

Lance laughed. "Is this a typical case of Merlin overreacting?"

"Probably," Merlin said miserably, taking a chunk of his sandwich to occupy his mouth.

"Well whatever he is, it'll be good to get to know him better, he seems like a really great guy,"

Merlin lit up again. "He is,"

Lance smiled at the grin that had spread across Merlin's face. "What are we doing this afternoon then?"

"Whatever you want, it's your birthday,"

"I'm not really in a birthday mood to be honest, it doesn't seem right without Will," Lance looked remorseful and Merlin knew exactly what he meant. It wasn't right that Will wasn't there trying to convince them to go on the piss up, or that he wasn't giving fantastic presents that he had spent months choosing, or that he wouldn't be there to get Merlin home tonight when he'd be too drunk to remember how to walk.

Merlin simply responded, "I know."

•••

They ended up watching a film in the living room, Merlin lay down with his feet in Lance's lap. He'd missed spending time with his best friend after the accident but in a way he was glad he'd managed to maintain their friendship by distancing himself. Merlin sat up after about 30 minutes and pulled his knees to his chest.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Lance had always been good at reading people, always been there to listen without having to be told what was wrong. "It's fine Merlin, really. You knew Will so much longer than we did and it was unfair that you lost him like that, but now you're ready to move on and that's great."

"But what if I'm not ready -"

"You're with Arthur," Lance interrupted. "If a part of you didn't want to get on with your life then you'd never have made that step. Trust me Merlin,"

Merlin shuffled over to Lance and rested his head against the broad shoulder. "I don't want to forget him, Lance," he said, his eyes welling up with tears and his voice broken.

"You will never forget him Merlin, I promise you that. Moving on means moving past the difficult time, not erasing every moment you spent with him from your memory. It means accepting the bad but treasuring the good and being able to look back and smile. Give it time Merlin, and everything will be fine," Lance, never having been as comfortable with physical comfort as Merlin had, surprised him by grasping him in a tight hug and placing a friendly kiss on the top of his head. Merlin tried to lighten the mood by saying "Who are you and what have you done with my awkward none touchy feely best friend?"

"I'm the version of him that has realised how important you are to him and who needs to start showing his appreciation for life a little more. Now shut it, I'm trying to watch the film,"

•••

Arthur arrived at the end of the film, just as Merlin had begun to cry at the sad ending. He opened the unlocked door and kicked off his shoes calling out, "Training finished early, hope you don't mind?" before actually seeing Lance and Merlin cuddled up on the sofa. He strolled through to the kitchen, now as comfortable in Merlin's home as he was in his own, and took a beer from the fridge before plopping down at the end of the couch Merlin had vacated, lifting up his stretched legs to sit underneath them.

"Should I be getting jealous?" Arthur asked to which he received 2 loud shushes, though Merlin did lean across to kiss Arthur on the cheek.

When the movie ended Lance switched off the TV and said hi to Arthur.

"Happy Birthday Lance," he replied. "I'm sorry for gatecrashing your afternoon but I have to go for a meal with my sister tonight so I'm not going to get to see Merlin otherwise," he explained.

"No worries, I was just saying to Merlin that it'll be great to get to know you a bit better, we haven't really spent that much time together,"

"That's true. Mind if I grab a shower?" Arthur asked Merlin.

"Please do," he replied, the first words he spoke to Arthur. "Did you decide what you'd do about getting changed?"

"Morgana said that it would be a casual thing so just to go in jeans and a shirt or something, so can I get changed before I leave here?"

"Of course," he said, smiling to say that there was something slightly inappropriate he wanted to add.

Whilst he was in the shower, Arthur heard Leon and Gwaine enter the house. He'd love to know what kind of football match kept them out of the house for over 6 hours, but he supposed Gwaine had needed to go present shopping for Lance or something.

He dried off and then realised he had only brought the things he needed to change into later and he didn't want to put his sweaty dance kit back on, so left the bathroom with a towel around his middle and carefully hopped downstairs, poking his head into the living room.

"Can I borrow some sweats and a top, Merlin?" He asked, cautious of the fact a guy he barely knew, a guy who hated him and the guy who was dating his sister were all staring at his chest. They'd found a football match on the TV and Arthur could tell it was not entertaining Merlin in the slightest.

"Sure, I'll help you find some because SOMEONE," Merlin glare in Gwaine's direction. "Keeps taking my stuff and not putting it back where they found it."

"How terribly inconsiderate of them Merlin, you must live with a complete Neanderthal," Gwaine said dryly as Merlin left the sofa and joined Arthur at the foot of the stairs.

"Hi," he whispered, standing on tip toes to kiss Arthur's lips. "How was rehearsal?" he asked in between breaths.

"Great," Arthur replied distractedly. Merlin brushed past Arthur and grabbed his hand to pull him up the stairs, stumbling into his bedroom and shutting the door with probably more force than was necessary.

Merlin laced his hands into Arthur's still damp hair and pulled him into him.

"Your friends are downstairs," Arthur said, his voice telling Merlin that he didn't really want to stop, so he didn't.

Merlin placed his lips on Arthur's and pushed them towards the bed, Arthur falling back so that he was lay down with the towel in great danger of falling off.

Someone with impeccable timing knocked quietly on the door. "It's me," came Leon's voice from behind the door. Arthur rolled out from beneath Merlin and rushed back into the bathroom as Merlin stood up and told Leon to come in.

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm getting off. We were just talking about plans for the evening and Lance asked if I was going for a meal with Arthur and Morgana, I'm guessing that's his cover story, and he asked where they were going so I told him Nando's. Nothing fancy but it was the first place that popped into my head, so let him know in case it comes up again,"

"Sure, thanks Leon. I'll see you later,"

"Yeah, I'm going home to get changed and then Gana and I are going straight to Gwen's so if you need anything ring their house phone and whoever's not stressing over decorations or burnt cupcakes will answer, so probably me."

Merlin laughed and said he would and Leon called our "See you later, Arthur," before he left.

Arthur came out of the bathroom giggling and leant his body against the frame of the door. "It's like a top secret mission or something!" he joked.

"Have you ever planned a surprise party before?" Merlin asked to which Arthur replied no. "Then you'll not appreciate how much effort goes into keeping it a surprise, top secret mission doesn't cover the half of it!" They both laughed and Arthur crossed back to enclose Merlin in his arms.

"We probably shouldn't pick up where we left off, no one else is likely to knock before they come barging in. Grab a t shirt from the wardrobe and I'll go and see if I can find those sweats which you like,"

"The ones that actually fit?" Arthur asked, pulling an insanely tight top over his abs and distracting Merlin for a moment with his lean muscles.

Merlin found the said bottoms on Gwaine's bedroom floor and brought them back into his own room, handing them to Arthur who was still stood in just the t shirt and a towel.

They returned downstairs to find Lance and Gwaine engrossed in the football and so, neither having much desire to watch it, sat down in the kitchen, Merlin taking a sandwich from what was left from lunch.

"I think I should warn you about how terrible a drunk I am," Merlin mumbled.

"Of course you are! Look at the size of you Merlin, you didn't really expect me to believe you can handle your liquor?" Merlin frowned but Arthur grinned to show he was kidding. "Listen, I've been wanting to ask you something,"

"Go on,"

"Well I was wondering if you'd want to come to the opening night of the new show? It's not for a few months but I just wanted to let you know that I want you there and make sure you know when it is so that you can, I dunno, keep the date free?"

"I'd love to! I'll invite Gwen too, she'll love the ballet!" Arthur stared at Merlin with a look of awe. "What?"

"I love how excited you are for this!"

"I'm excited for you," Merlin told Arthur, leaning slowly across the table to plant a kiss on his lips.

"Stop being mushy in there you two!" called Gwaine, to whom  
they paid no notice.

•••

At six, Arthur went back upstairs to get changed again and came down looking, quite frankly, delectable. Gwaine and Lance said goodbye from the living room as Merlin jumped up off the sofa to walk Arthur down to his car.

"You've seriously made me wish you didn't have to leave now," he said.

"Well I'll see you in half an hour, it's not that long," Arthur told him.

"Yes, but there'll be people around," Arthur laughed. "I'll see you in a bit, and I apologise in advance for my actions whilst drunk," Merlin planted a soft kiss on Arthur's lips, a promise of what was to come, before opening the car door for Arthur and letting him climb in.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad, but if it is I'll be able to use it as something to make fun of you with for years to come," Merlin grinned at Arthur's words, Arthur perhaps not realising how what he had said had sounded but Merlin seeing right through it.

"Years to come, well I'm just going to stay away from alcohol at all costs now,"

Arthur laughed again, a sound which Merlin was beginning to realise made him feel a million times better whenever he heard it. The warm tone made him feel at home and the hearty breath proved to him that Arthur was real, not some figment of his imagination that had appeared due to his deteriorating sanity. Arthur proved to Merlin that after the disaster that was Will's death, there was something to fill the hole, something worth getting out of bed every morning for. Merlin's eyes began to fill with tears as he grinned, stopping Arthur's perfect laugh and causing a look of pain to seep into his features.

"What's wrong?" he said softly, reaching up to lay his hand tenderly on Merlin cheek and wiping the tear that had fallen away.

"Nothing," Merlin replied. "You just - you're so amazing. I don't know how I would have got through all this without you," Without words Arthur got back out of the car and wrapped his arms around Merlin, pushing Merlin against the side of his car and kissing him fiercely, Merlin responding by pouring his emotions into the kiss. Being the sensible one, Arthur pulled away, his hands coming to the sides of Merlin's face. Their foreheads fell against each others as Arthur said, "You have no idea what you've done for me: you think I'm the strong one but that's because of you! This crap with my father and at work, you really have helped me to get through it all, Merlin. Without you I'd be completely purposeless and I think, I think I'm in love with you,"

Merlin's head shot up and his eyes bore into Arthur's. "I love you too," he choked out, his mouth on Arthur's again. "How about we don't go to this party and we go straight back upstairs and I tear your clothes off?" he offered.

"Tempting, but no. I want to meet all your friends,"

"Your loss,"

"Certainly. We'll do something tomorrow,"

"I hope by something you don't mean something which involves us leaving the house,"

"Of course not. I should get going," Arthur said, kissing Merlin one last time before getting back in the car and driving away.

•••

"What were you two doing out there?" Gwaine asked when Merlin came back in with a huge grin plastered from ear to ear. Merlin ignored him and threw himself down on the sofa.

"What time are we getting to yours?" Merlin asked Lance.

"We'll take off in about 15 minutes, Gwen should be expecting us by then," Lance was cut off by the shrill ring of Gwaine's mobile. Merlin almost found himself laughing at the precise timing of the pre arranged call.

"Elena? Hi, what's wrong? Calm down, it'll be fine, I'm on my way right now, Elena - I'll be right there, 10 minutes, I promise, it'll be fine."

"I'm so sorry Lance, Elena's dad's been in an accident, she's at the hospital in hysterics, I'm going to have to go, I'm sorry mate,"

Lance smiled and despite his words Merlin could tell he was annoyed. "Its fine, Gwaine, go make sure she's ok,"

As Gwaine bent down by the door to put on his shoes, he caught Merlin's eye and gave him a sly grin which said he'd see him very soon.

"We might as well go now then, if Gwaine's not going to be there the evening'll be nowhere near as much fun." Merlin gave him a look but smiled at the same time.

"I'll just go get changed then,"

Lance followed Merlin upstairs and stood outside the bedroom while Merlin changed.

"What was going on outside then, why did you look like you'd been crying?" Merlin cursed himself for being so easy to read.

"He said he loved me,"

"And that made you cry?" Merlin lauded.

"They were tears of happiness, idiot,"

"Well in that case I'm really happy for you, Arthur's really great,"

Merlin came bounding out of the room pulling a cardigan on over a striped blue shirt. "He is,"

•••

They pulled up outside Lance's house and there was no sign that anything was out of the ordinary. Merlin followed Lance up the path, almost unable to contain his excitement, and stood back as he opened the door.

"SURPRISE!"

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy please let me know!


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